How to have a GOOD Morning!

.Well when you write a super stellar blog post with great info and you lose the whole thing... Sometimes you decide to write a random blog post just to make yourself feel a little bit better. And sometimes the post that started off as a random post actually takes on a bigger purpose and meaning, yay! This is that post.

So I want to start by saying that I'm sorry for being a bit MIA this month.

You know how when there's something that you're supposed to do (like write a specific blog post on a specific topic) then it makes you not want to do it at all even though it's typically something you enjoy doing? No? Well anyway that's what the post I just lost was for me. It felt like pulling teeth to get myself to sit down and write it, and I had finally done so...

But I will rewrite it again at some point but today is not that day. Everything happens for a reason so I'm honeslty not even upset about it! GAH there are so many exciting things happening in my life and business I just want to share them ALL!

Life has been kind of crazy recently! 

It's been good. It's been great. But it's also been crazy! First I'd like to just mention - how in the hell is it already October, and almost 2017!? The fact that my September bday already came and went this year is blowing my mind. Less than 90 days til we're at a new year again. That's scary! What are you planning? I know I'm circling back to some goals I set for the year and trying to stay true to the word I assigned for 2016 - and that was GROWTH.

With growth in mind - I wanted to write this blog post about my morning routine and how it has really transformed things for me in a BIG WAY. It might even help you to incorporate some, if not ALL of these habits into you life! Proceed with an open mind and believe me when I say that I was never a morning person before. In fact I would roll out of bed after snoozing my alarm for about an hour and reluctantly go on with my day, usually pissed off that I had to adult in some way shape or form.

So on to the purpose of this post! My morning routine to balance hormones, improve digestion, and start every day with true PURPOSE

1. Oil Pulling

Yep I know it sounds weird. I literally roll out of bed every morning, pee, and then put about a tablespoon of coconut oil, olive oil, grapeseed oil, or castor oil in my mouth! Oil pulling is an ancient Indian practice of swishing oil in your mouth for up to 20 minutes! You can start with about 5 minutes, and daily try to work your way up to 20. I'll give some more details on this below. I like to multitask while I'm oil pulling - sometimes I get dressed and organized for my day, and sometimes I have dance parties as my snapchat followers can attest to, it just depends on the day!

Benefits:

Oil pulling improves digestion by detoxifying the area where our digestion starts: the mouth. Not only do you pull toxins from your mouth into the oil, but it also stimulates your mucous response and typically when you spit it out, you end up spitting out some phlegm. Gross I know, but even when I'm not sick or congested that stuff comes out - and I'd much rather get it out of my body then have it sitting in there - gross! This reduces inflammation, aids digestion, and whitens teeth - all things that are good on their own, but in the grand scheme of things they will also help clear your acne!!

Method:

Put one of the oil listed above in your mouth. You must do this on an empty stomach or it might make you throw up a little when you spit it out. Swish around for ideally 20 minutes, but work your way up to it starting with 5-10 minutes at first. Do not swallow the oil. By the end of 20 minutes the oil will be filled with toxins, mucous, and particles from your mouth. You will spit this out into a trashcan and not your skin - because that will clog your sink in no time! Immediately after spitting out the oil and getting out some mucous, you'll want to brush your teeth!

2. Tooth Powder

Yes, it's true. I brush my teeth with tooth powder! Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn! I thought it was weird at first but I actually like it a lot personally. There are a lot of different ones on the market these days but I can't really speak to those - my personal favorite is by Dr. Christopher that you can find on amazon HERE   not only is it a great price, but it's a great product and lasts forever! 

Benefits:

By using this herbal tooth powder you're mouth is getting cleaner than it does with conventional toothpaste and without all the chemicals! Enough said I think! Oh also if you're breaking out around your mouth - your toothpaste is likely the culprit! I was always told to put toothpaste on pimples as a teen - it never worked - and the reason I now know is because BAKING SODA that used to be in toothpaste and isn't really anymore, can help pimples. Anyway....

Method:

I hope you know how to brush your teeth.. Wet tooth brush, dip into powder, and brush in circular motion. Rinse and repeat if you so desire!

3. Oil Cleansing Method (OCM)

Okay.... so a few things here before I get into the nitty gritty... First off - and my clients all know this - I typically recommend doing the OCM in the evenings in order to take off any makeup, and just wiping your face down with a damp towel in the morning and or spritzing with some topical probiotics OR some natural toner. This is accurate - HOWEVER since I no longer wear makeup on my skin daily and I typically do some kinda face rinse midday after a workout, I honestly don't "wash" my face before bed often. I will say that when I have done OCM the night before then I won't do it in the morning - I do it once a day and that's it - again unless makeup is somehow involved then it very rarely happens twice in a day. Another thing I'd like to mention is that I often do this WHILE I'm Oil Pulling to save time! I can't officially recommend this because it takes some practice and I don't want people choking on oil because they tried to multitask. Plus it isn't necessary in any way - but it's a time saving trick nonetheless!

Benefits: 

 Depending on the oil you use you will see different benefits! Oils actually carry a lot of great nutrients in them for our skin! One of my faves for OCM is Grapeseed oil which has oleic acid that's wonderful for skin health, it's non comedogenic (doesn't clog pores), restores collagen, reduces scars, fights aging, helps acne, tightens skin, helps with those dark circles around your eyes, a ton of other things. PLUS contrary to popular "conventional" belief, oil actually cleans oil - it doesn't clog you pores. However, I'll say if you're switching from conventional face wash or especially prescription grade face wash then you're skin will have to adjust to the new routine. You could start by just using grapeseed oil as a moisturizer after your cleanser and progress from there! This could take a few weeks, or even up to a month or so. But in the long run it is totally worth it! Just take it slow and let your skin adjust! There's no rush!

Method:

Pour about a quarter size of oil into the palm or your hand and take some time to really massage the oil into your skin. It's like getting a facial at home! I like to massage it in circular motions for 10-20 seconds making sure I get every spot including my neck. Then take a warm, clean, moist hand towel and set it on your face for about 10-30 seconds to allow the oil to be absorbed into your skin. Make sure the towel is NOT hot. Just warm. After about 10-30 seconds use the same towel to wipe the oil off your face thoroughly, and then rinse the towel and you're done! It feels soooo good! In the evenings (when I wear makeup) I end up doing OCM twice in a row. I use grape seed oil to take off my makeup with the method above, then with a new towel I use Fatco to cleanse my face. More often than not I only end up using the Fatco oil in the mornings (it has grapeseed oil in it) which you can find HERE. And in all honesty I'm kind of obsessed with the "oily skin" Fatco face cleansing oil!! You should def give it a try!

4. Morning Tonic

There are many different things you can drink as your morning tonic, but this is the mixture that I not only can tolerate, but I actually enjoy it! Feel free to mix it up, and also take it slow! Start off with just a small amount of Raw Unfiltered Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) around 1tsp and in time you can work your way up to about 2 tbs! But beware, depending on what's going on in your gut and how much you drink, it can make you feel nauseous!

Benefits:

I'm sure you've heard all about the magic that is ACV. It's said to lower cholesterol, help you lose weight, regulate blood sugars, heal leaky gut, aid in digestion, break down mucus, so on and so forth! But the reason I find it particularly beneficial is because it contains organic acids and enzymes that help to balance Ph in your gut and creates an environment where probiotics can grow and flourish. This is HUGE! Probiotics are essential for gut health and gut health is essential for really every single aspect of your life far beyond just eating and eliminating food. I believe it was Hippocrates that said "all disease starts in the gut". No matter what ails you, I guarantee that you need to work on healing some leaky gut issues! Also if you suffer at all from acid reflux (which I did severely for years) then it can help again to balance the Ph and acids in your stomach and therefore aid in breaking down your foods in digestion, AND nutrient absorption. SO if all that isn't reason enough for you then I don't know what else to tell you. But I'd say this is pretty important!

Method:

I like to have this in the morning 20 minutes before eating. I usually shoot it, then drink some water & tea, then eat. Mix your desired amount of ACV (1TSP - 2TBSP) with one half a juice of lemon, some water, and I like to add a dash of ground ginger, turmeric, & cinnamon! You can also add some manuka honey if you'd like, or slightly heat up some water for the same concoction if you're dealing with candida. But make sure the water isn't boiling or too hot as that will kill those delicate enzymes in the ACV! Again I recommend having your breakfast about 20 minutes later! You can also do this during the day 10-20 minutes before any meal! Below is my YouTube video with the recipe & method as well!

5. Life S.A.V.E.R.S

I got this directly from the book The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. I recommend you get this book ASAP as it has transformed not only my mornings, but really my life in general. I got it on audiobook, but the paperback is great as well! You can find it on amazon HERE. Also once you read it you'll know what I mean - but if anyone wants to do a 30 day MM challenge with me I'm seriously always looking for people to do it with in order to help hold me accountable! I do the actual S.A.V.E.R.S just about everyday, but I don't always manage to wake up at 5. The truth is though, I honestly feel my absolute BEST when I do! Seriously, if you skip everything else I recommended in this blog post, PLEASE do not skip this one! It is truly a life changing practice!

Benefits:

I mean where can I start....??? I feel more motivated, I feel centered, I'm aligned with my purpose and my vision, I feel productive, my dreams and goals are clearer, I am able to manifest and pour energy into the places I want energy to flow in my life, and I honestly finally feel like I'm tapping into my true potential. I know that's a lot, and I can't make a promise that you'll feel the same way, or that you'll even feel good about it at first. But I swear, it's SO worth it!

Method:

S - Silence or meditation. A - Affirmations. V - Visualization, I like to turn on a visualization radio station on Pandora and it really helps me to focus in on what I want to visualize. E - Exercise, I usually save this for the end. R - Reading, I always read a Personal Development, business, or self help book. My current favorite is Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins which you can find HERE. S - Scribe or journal. I sometimes use this time to write out my goals for the day, sometimes I just gather my thoughts, and sometimes I just vent about everything and sort out my feelings and emotions. You can do each activity for 1 minute each if you're short on time, or you can do 10 - 20 minutes on each thing which is my fav! If you want more resources for this book and what its all about click HERE. I highly recommend finding a spot to do these daily activities that is NOT your bed! For instance I have a little window nook where I do them, and it's my favorite spot in my house! I've added pillows, and often my little puppy Addy will join me! 

I absolutely LOVE my little nook and having a place the automatically puts me in a good mood is a good thing also! Okay so that's all for today folks! I hope this post helps you with creating an empowering morning routine you can stick to in order to optimize your health!

I swear, it may not seem important, but how your morning goes can really set the tone for your day. So don't start it off by breaking promises you made to yourself, or running around stressed and pissed because you had to wake up and leave you bed at all! Trust me I get it, I love my bed, but I love having a full and flowing life even more! You deserve to have  GOOD morning also!!!!

As always, please like, comment, and share this post if you found it helpful or think it might help others in any way! It allows me to expand my reach, help more people, and you never know how something like this could change someones life! Leave any questions in the comments section also ya'll!

xoxo- Harmony

Also the links in this post are my affiliate links which means you pay the same amount you usually would but I make a small percentage off the sale for recommending them to you! 

Build a BADASS Booty

Okay so I realize that it's kind of weird. I have been practically an absentee blogger yet here I am posting not one, but THREE different posts in one week!? Okay I repeat, where is Harmony and what did you do with the body??

I know guys, BUT it's like I said in my last post, sometimes I get like a fear or anxiety about blogging when I haven't blogged in awhile. Like the pressure is REALLY REAL YA'LL.

But fear is dumb and I'm SO not about that life! Anyway that is so not the point of this blog post! I'm here to talk about booties ya'll! Okay I'm here to talk about more than just booties but I mean not all of us were born with an internet busting Kim Kardashian Booty:

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Also, yes. You're not imagining it. That totally just happened here on my holistic blog!

I've always been more of a booty girl than a boobies girl. That's just my life, I'm pretty flat chested and I'm honestly totally okay with that now. PCOS made my boobs even smaller (thanks testosterone) which made me realize that it's okay. But for about 99% of my life I just wanted bigger boobs or even implants with smaller legs/hips/butt area! But alas THAT AIN'T ME! And I'm good with that now! Now just because a bottom half is "bigger" doesn't always mean that it's NICE. If you want a nice booty that takes work. PERIOD. Ballet works the booty like crazy ya'll. No joke. So I lucked out there in my earlier years I suppose. But then sitting on my ass day in and day out for years "helped" by booty grow in the not to nice kinda way. It was the 'none of my pants fit' kind of way. No one likes that way.

I think it really goes without saying at this point that I have had more than my fair share of body image issues. What can I say, being a girl growing up in the ballet world does wonders for body image issues and the psyche (please do note the sarcasm). I actually had this epiphany about 3 years ago when I realized that I would never actually be satisfied with my body. I knew I would never been thin enough for myself. I would never be fit enough for myself. I would always want more and always want to change things.

It was in that moment that I decided to just ACCEPT MYSELF THE WAY I AM.

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What an insane concept right!? No one actually does that! UHM yeah actually, they do. It's called making a decision and sticking to it. What's really amazing though is what happens once you make a decision like that. Because once I decided to accept me for me (SHE LIKES ME FOR MEEEEEE - name that tune!) I actually started seeing the biggest changes in my body! Or maybe it was all in my head all along, who knows! But suddenly I knew I was alright! In fact I was better than alright, I was AWESOME.

It has been a lot of hard work learning to love myself regardless of how I look and it's still something that comes up within me especially with the whole PCOS acne thing! I'm far from perfect but I try to accept myself the best that I can! SO I decided to put this whole I love myself - self love & acceptance thing to the ultimate test in the form of registering for my first (and probably last) BIKINI COMPETITION.

The Beachbody Classic. *insert I just shat myself face emoji*

Yep, I'm gonna be one of those crazy ass looking women with a dark ass tan and muscles strutting their stuff in a super skimpy bikini on stage in front of thousands of people.

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Okay so full disclosure and a few things I want to mention about this before you get all crazy and judgy on me:

1. I am not going to over train OR starve myself - my plan is very simple and healthy.
2. I may or may not get a spray tan. I honestly haven't decided yet. Regardless it will NOT be some crazy shade of orangy spray and I'd have to find one with ingredients that don't make me hurl.
3. I'm not trying to win anything or prove a point. I just want to challenge myself.
4. I'm doing all my training with AT HOME WORKOUTS. YEP! Details on this below.
5. I do NOT plan on bulking like crazy either. True Story.
6. I still have a lot of research to do! I know a lot but I'm not an expert on this yet! There's so much more to learn!
7. I DO have a super awesome plan in place with help from some of my fav celebrity trainers (Autumn Calabrese, Sagi Kalev, Chalene Johnson, & Leandro Carvalho) that makes me really excited!

After reading all that you might be asking yourself "why does she want to do this!? I don't get it!" The answer? I want to push myself towards a goal that scares the shit out of me. That's right. Doing this really freaks me out. The thought of walking on stage and posing for 15 seconds while flexing my muscles in a bikini is just like OMFG ABORT ABORT! Dancing in a tutu is one thing. This is another thing entirely and it scares me! This tells me that I need to do it.

It also has motivated me like crazy in my workouts! I'm already pushing so much harder and seeing results a lot faster because of it and I'm still a good 17 weeks out or so! I'm honestly so excited because I have come up with a killer plan and I want to share that with you and let you in on it! Well at least part of it. I can't reveal ALL my secrets right off the bat!

Right now this month (April 2016) I'm working on PiYo - mostly my live rounds and some of the at home program as well. I also have my last performance of the season this month so I don't want to overdo it! Then I'm moving onto Hammer & Chisel again but with a twist! I'm doing a hybrid by also adding in Brazilian Butt Lift which is a super fun dance based program!!! I'm going to continue with Paleo but also incorporating a twist when I get closer to competition time! Aaaaaaand I'm not just going to dish my whole plan to you since it's top secret, so that's all I'm going to share about it for now!! The rest of it is reserved for a select few to know! HINT: you could be one of the few!!! Keep reading! 

HERE'S WHERE THINGS GET EXCITING FOR YOU!

Okay so obvi I don't expect you to want to get as shredded as you need to for a bikini competition however, I do want you to challenge yourself. Summer and bikini season IS right around the corner and I totally want to help you feel confident in that swimsuit. It's not just about losing weight, I want you to FEEL confident as hell in your own skin! SO with that being said, I' decided to turn my master bikini plan into an online group for you to participate in with me each month until competition time. And this first month is going to be called BUILD A BADASS BOOTY starting on May 1st!

"But it's the beginning of April Harmony so why are you talking about this NOW!?" WELL I want to give you the chance to get the promotional price for these programs (you can get Brazilian Butt Lift fo freee yo! I'll tell you how) AND by registering for the group as an early bird (before April 15th) you're going to get SPECIAL and exclusive content from me plus extra gifts! I mean who doesn't like free stuff? I know I do! Plus guys I already have some spots filled. This groups capacity is going to max out fast and I want you to get your spot before they're all gone! I can only take on so many people! But YOU should be one of them!

I want to back up a second though. When it comes down to it, I don't think it matters even a little bit how you look in a bikini. What I DO KNOW that matters is how you FEEEEEEL on the inside and the outside about yourself. Making these good decisions for yourself, deciding to eat right and nourish yourself with nutrients along with exercising changes you not only physically, but mentally as well. Literally your body chemistry CHANGES. More than anything guys this is really a great opportunity for you to start getting healthy from the inside out and learn to treat yourself right.

I know everyone is in a different place. If you've already been healthy but just need an extra push then this group is for you. If you've hit a plateau in your journey then this is for you. If you want to really see results & you're ready to commit to YOU then this is for you. If you're ready to love yourself then this is for you. If you want to change how you feel in your body then this is for you. If you want to change your freaking life then this IS FOR YOU!!!! This group is for everyone from all walks of life! I so want to help you achieve your goals but there's only so much I can do without your participation! So let's do this thing together!

Did you know that over 70% of people who start a workout program never even finish it? Did you know that this percentage significantly DECREASES when you work with a coach? The real beauty of it is, I essentially work for free guys. You don't pay anything extra for my services as your coach. So why do it on your own when I can help you FO FREE!? Literally all you pay for are the products and I can guarantee you, they're worth every life changing cent. They actually come with a 30 day money back guarantee also. SO there' that. But seriously though. They're AMAZING and I don't see why you would even consider using that guarantee. I'll go a little more into the nitty gritty details below.

I'm going to be sharing all of my workout tips, tricks for success, exclusive Paleo quick start meal plans, my own tried and true methods, recipes, and seriously just SO MUCH MORE to get you feeling healthy! This is going to take place in this new free app for challenge groups! Cool right!? Enrollment just requires the purchase of a challenge pack through me! Like I mentioned H&C is on sale ya'll!! If there was ever a time to purchase it, now would be that time! I made this little video about what comes in a H&C challenge pack. It's short and here for your viewing pleasure! Remember that a challenge pack ALSO comes with 30 crazy nutrient dense SUPERFOOD MEALS in the form of Shakeology! 

Hammer & Chisel on it's own is a seriously amazing program but when you combine it with my favorite superfood dense nutritional shake Vegan Shakeololgy plus portion control containers and everything else I mentioned above, the possibilities are endless! Here's a quick video about it in case you're still on the fence! This video was a turn off for me personally. I honestly find them to be cheesy but I mean... It gives you a good idea of what the program is all about! I swear these workouts are flipping amazing!

I hope you enjoyed that video, and if not then that's fine too. Listen I don't want to make this post too long and you guys know me, I'm not into sales gimmicks or any BS like that. I do however, think this is a great opportunity for you to try some AMAZING products with my support and killer plan! Don't let fear or hesitation, or BS EXCUSES hold you back. You CAN do this! You are worth making the effort for! There's really no downside to joining us besides the fact that there will be some hard work involved. But nothing worth having comes easy! That's just life! Trust me you wouldn't want it if it was just handed to you!

SO on that note I'm going to sign off. I'm pooped. It's 1:53 AM but I was too damn excited about this group to go to bed without blogging about it FIRST! If you have any questions you know where to find me! You can always just comment below, you can email me (thepaleoballerina@gmail.com) OR you can find me on facebook, or Instagram (both are linked on this page).

Yeah okay my energy is officially gone, night night time!!!! Love you guys!

xoxo - Harmony 

Take the Plunge

Let me paint this picture for you: You have set up your towel in the sand and decide to head towards the water. You take that first daring step off your towel not quite sure what to expect. The sand is scorching hot between your toes but it feels nice for a moment and you sink your toes further into it. You close your eyes and angle your face up towards the sun hoping to leave looking beautiful and sun-kissed. You pause for a moment and take it all in. You let out a sigh because the ocean makes you feel both at peace and exhilarated. But before you realize what's happening that same sand that felt like heaven a moment before has now become unbearably HOT like lava beneath your feet. As you make your journey further down the beach, you begin tip toeing, then sprinting like a gazelle, but clumsy and awkward more like a toddler taking his first steps, down the beach towards the beautiful blue water and crashing waves. Then you finally reach that cool, wet sand before the water begins and you feel instant relief, you will not die from hot lava sand this day! Success! You cautiously walk towards the water and gingerly dip in your big toe hoping it's not too cold. But of course it is and you've once again come face to face with a metaphorical death. Once that wave of foamy water washes ashore and hits your legs you instantaneously become an icicle. But the water is beautiful so you grit your teeth and continue to stand where the water is meeting the shore and two worlds are becoming one. You walk a little bit further out and now your calves are slightly wet. You start thinking "I could get use to this, it actually feels kind of nice" then you relax a little bit. Again, you sink your toes into the cool, moist sand and look up to the sky. You begin to take everything in and try to ignore your freezing feet, the world is beautiful! But while you are day dreaming a big wave comes on shore and crashes right into you. You stumble and and lose your balance, again like a clumsy toddler. You're now on the ground, trying to make sure that all of your unmentionables are still in place under your tiny little swimsuit. You wonder why the HELL anyone wears so little to the beach, yourself included. It suddenly all seems like madness. You stumble away from the water with a look of defeat on your face but pause and glance back at it before you make the long trek back through the lava sand to your towel. The water may have conquered you this time, but next time will be a different story. I hope you enjoyed that! I swear there's a point to it.

So it's summer time now and it's hot outside! You know what the heat make me want to do? It makes me want to tan, and go to the beach, and go swimming. I'll take just the tanning and swimming part also. Pools, water holes, lakes, etc will do, I'm not that picky although I'd be a liar if I didn't say that I love the beach! I'm sure a lot of you have had experiences like the one I described above. it happens often. We want something, but never fully commit to it, then the process of attaining it doesn't turn out to be what we expected, and so we give up or we never actually try at all. Or for some people the prospect of the entire process is too much so they just stay on their towel and watch as others do or get that they want for themselves. I have been talking to so many wonderful people recently who tell me that they want to make changes in their life.

I think it is so awesome that so many people in this world want to do better for themselves and it inspires me every day! Maybe you want to lose weight, eat healthier, change careers, clear your skin or whatever it may be that you feel needs some assistance or change in your life today today. And reaching out to someone, vocalizing the desire to change is an awesome first step! But more often than not, recently I feel that so many people are hesitant to actually take the plunge and start changing things for themselves. Now, I'm by no means saying that I expect everyone to change everything about themselves right away, BUT I just think we could all take a second to reevaluate the reasons that we give for WHY you're willing to hold back from achieving what you truly desire. I am here to help, support, and guide people. I have seriously met so many AMAZING people through being a coach and I love every second of it, I really really do. But I also find myself getting frustrated at times because I can't do all the work for you. There comes a time when you have to do your part!

We're all human, myself included and I get that life is scary. I mean hell I have let fear hold me back so many times in the past, and every decision we make defines our life's course. I can clearly see how some fear driven decisions from my younger years shaped things in my present future. I may have had a ballet career earlier if I hadn't been afraid. Now you can also push through fear and make crappy decisions like taking jobs that you end up hating (raises hand) but that's all part of the process. I now know something that I never ever ever want to do ever again in my life. Progress right? You gotta take the positive out of every situation. At least make an effort to learn from it and do differently the next time! I just want to share some quotes with you today that REALLY resonated with me when I heard them, and I hope they can help you to be a little more fearless today and push through whatever it is that you're letting hold you back from your DREAMS! Whatever those dreams may be :)

Then there was this one quote I heard years ago which I can't seem to find online that said something to the effect of: when the prospecting of doing something makes you nervous, use that as a signal that you NEED to do it!

I think that's a great way to push through fear. So if doing something like performing or even just talking to someone I don't know very well or putting myself out there in someway, makes me nervous then I'm like okay. I need to challenge and push myself to do this! I hope some of these will help you to do the same with whatever you're trying to push through today! I fully realize that this post is very random but I just had these thoughts on my mind so I wanted to put them down on virtual paper. Please don't let fear hold you back from living your own life. It is yours and yours only, to do with that you choose. No one else can live your life for you so make sure that you're living it for yourself!

Remember that story from the beginning of this post? Now imagine if our character had instead decided that from the second they stepped off the towel, they were just going to run and jump into the water? I bet you they would've had a much better experience with the whole thing. They would've skipped the whole lava sand process, they would've gotten used to the water after jumping in, and I bet they would've spent time actually playing in and enjoying themselves instead of all the other crap that went along with their hesitation, including the unfulfilling concept of defeat. They would've walked back to their towel soaking wet, with a huge smile on their face feeling entirely content because they not only faced their fear, but they had a blast in the process. My point is that yes caution can be important in certain instances. But sometimes you just need to jump in with both feet! Take a plunge! Enjoy your life! Just freaking DO IT and you will reap the benefits! Waiting, and hemming, and hawing when your gut is telling you to just do it can hold you back and delay your life. You may stumble, you may fail, and you may fall, or in this instance you may get bitten by a shark. But at least you tried. At least you LIVED. Be honest with yourself about what your reason for holding back on WHATEVER is today and make sure it's in alignment with what you TRULY want out of your life. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? Sit down and start writing. You might be surprised what comes out.

That's all for today folks, enjoy the rest of June as I doubt Ill post again before July rolls around but hey, maybe right!? And as always please email me if you want or need any guidance! thepaleoballerina@gmail.com But also please understand that it may take me a few days to get back to you due to the large volume of emails I get, OR I might get back to you on the same day! It just depends :)

xoxo Harmony

Vegan Orange Chocolate Creamsicle Shakeology

I've been browsing the the internets all day trying to find the tool people use to post recipes in that little box on their blog posts so I don't have to manually type them in here BUT alas I was unsuccessful so I'm just going to post the recipe here! Just a little update: My black swan performance was last weekend (today is Monday) and I'm still recovering from it. Overall it went fairly well I guess. Not perfect by any means, I wish we have more than one performance so I could get a chance to do a better job but it's okay I will survive! I also decided to become a Beachbody Coach which is super exciting. I LOVE helping people and I feel like this is just one more platform for me to do so. I really hope to help A LOT of people transform their lives! I'll give more details on all that later including pictures from the performance but for now let's cut to the chase - the Orange Chocolate Creamsicle! This thing tastes just like those fun little chocolate oranges I used to buy at the store and eat as an unhealthy kid. YUM! Along with signing up as a Beachbody Coach I needed to try the products out myself obviously, Shakeology being a huge one of them. I got the Chocolate Vegan Shakeology and boy let me tell you I'm actually really surprised by what I've experienced while drinking the Shakeology so far. I kind of expected to drink it and break out or gain weight or feel gross or whatever. They also have this amazing 30 day money back guarantee so I figured I'd just return it if I didn't like it anyway. But actually it's been awesome! Now I know this is a real food and paleo blog and Shakeology is not 100% Paleo friendly because the protein sources are Pea Protein, Rice Protein, and Oat Protein. However, besides that small snafu it's actually gluten, soy, and dairy free and otherwise Paleo friendly. Quite frankly at least at this point I feel that the benefits far outweigh the fact that the proteins come from a grain source. At least it's not crappy processed whey or anything like that. The ingredients are things you might even be supplementing with right now!

Okay most of you know that I dance in the evenings from around 6-9 or 10pm. I get home starving and usually end up eating a big meal right before bed. UH can we say weight gain? And here comes Shakeology to the rescue! I've been making sure to eat lunch late at work around 3pm in order to stay full from it for awhile. I now started making my shake before ballet class and bringing it with me. I usually drink it during and after ballet class. It's so filling that I can't drink it all in one sitting, it takes me awhile to finish! So far since I've started drinking the Shakeology these are the changes I've seen:

• These Shakes are FILLING! I don't even need dinner when I drink these in the evening
• My workouts are fueled and I'm not getting as tired during them as I was before
• My skin is staying very clear - this is a huge one for me. If my body doesn't like what I'm consuming I can ALWAYS tell through my skin.
• I've LOST WEIGHT. That's right. Not eating that super late night meal helps of course but I think these have helped me burn fat.
• My cravings for unhealthy food are virtually gone. I really wasn't expecting this one.
• My eliminations have gotten even more regular.
• I've been WAY less bloated in general and my hormones are pretty happy right now. I have ways of knowing this and I won't go into those details.

SO I actually haven't been drinking Shakeology for that long yet and I've already seen a lot of benefits. I'm SUPER curious to see what else changes on this journey!! One thing to keep in mind - I have a really clean diet so I think my body is very receptive to new things. I feel like it doesn't have to try to clear all the crap out of my body before showing the benefits but instead I can see the benefits more quickly. That's not just with this Shakeology but with other supplements and treatments as well. At least that's what I've noticed. I could be totally wrong,

Now for the second component of this recipe.... The Adrenal Cocktail AKA Dreamsicle or Creamsicle By Ginger Newtrition that has been going all around the paleo community. I love this Adrenal Cocktail, you should try it out! Find the recipe and more info on Adrenal Fatigue HERE

NOW FOR THE RECIPE! (I know that was a really long build up) I swear this thing tastes JUST like those chocolate oranges you can buy at the store. SO GOOD!

Orange Chocolate Creamsicle (Gluten, Soy, Dairy, Casein, Nut  FREE using VEGAN chocolate Shakeology)

1 batch of Ginger Newtrition's Adrenal Cocktail (recipe here)

1 batch Vegan Chocolate Shakeology (following package directions except OJ from the Adrenal Cocktail should replace the water)

Put the following items into the blender: 8-12oz of fresh squeezed OJ, 2oz water, Himalayan pink salt(as much as you can tolerate), 1 scoop of Shakeology, 1 scoop of beef collagen, 1/2-1 cup of ice and 2tbs coconut cream. Blend it all together and ENJOY!

I hope you try this recipe and love it! Let me know what you think in the comments sections!

xoxo- Harmony

Paleo Ballerina and a Happy New Year!

That's right, I'm giving myself a title now I am the Paleo Ballerina (patent pending). I feel like I just declared the 10 commandments or something. Okay that's a huge exaggeration... Anyway, it's not that big of a deal obviously it's really not even important, but I just wanted to put that out there. No one take my thing please. I'm in the process of building my "brand". I have a reason behind this 'title' and it has more meaning than the portrayal of the fact that I'm a ballet dancer who eats and follows a Paleo lifestyle. Body image in the ballet community is SUCH a huge and never ending issue, and I want to inspire dancers to EAT and nourish themselves while keeping their dancer figure. Okay more on that later... Moving on. Are there any graphic designers in the house? Does anyone want to design a little cavewoman ballerina for me or something? Because that would be AMAZEBALLS. Happy New Year everyone! This is officially my first post of the new year! I brought in the new year in a great way and on new years day I performed an awesome musical medley for a celebration at church with my brother with around 8-9 songs. It included hits like Shake It Off, All About That Base, Halo, Baby and Radioactive. We did a medley least year on the first as well (using different songs obviously), and it's a lot of fun and really the only time I sing in public all year. It was a fun start and a great way to spend some quality time with my brother. Hopefully we'll do it again next year even though I'm always embarrassed by the video after the fact... I also hope (I sure have a lot of 'hopes') to do a 2014 recap post at some point but I make no promises since I always think of posts I want to write but I never actually want to take the time to write them out. Shame on me. Don't get me wrong, I love blogging. I don't do it very often but I find it to be a great creative outlet as well as a great way to organize and tame the Tasmanian (Taz) devil who likes to make an appearance in my head occasionally. It's a great way to just get it all out which is why I typically find myself blogging most often in times of struggle or distress. But hey, here I am being happy saying Happy New Year to you!

So 2015. 5 is my favorite number. It's actually Ernest's favorite number also. SO it goes without saying that this year should really be stellar for both of us and I hope it's great for everyone else too! We had wonderful holidays filled with a lot of family and friends. I really am blessed to be surrounded by so many great people in my life. Sure I take them for granted often but that doesn't mean I love them any less, this whole appreciation thing is a process but I try to look at the bright side and appreciate as many things as possible every single day!

Okay so I had about two weeks off from dance which I was a bit worried about but I think it was good. I was so super productive around the house with all my down time and I almost completed my bathroom remodel that I've been working on for about a year. Now it goes without saying that I haven't worked on it consistently since it's a small half bath and I don't think there are even that many things I could do to draw a reno out THAT long. Anyway it's my baby, my child, my creation and I'm so proud of it. This is yet another thing I plan to write a full blown post about once I have FULLY completed it. I don't want to post it before I'm 100% done because I may never fully finish if I do that. My pride is already making me not want to put the finishing touches on it... Partially because whenever I get to a new step with this reno I get apprehensive... Anyway more on that when I write my post bathroom renovation post!

Ballet has started back up this week and I had some of my toughest weeks ever at my desk job. I REALLY need to make a career shift this year. IDEALLY I'd like to get out of the normal desk job sector and move over to dance or something related (maybe even nutrition? NTP?) permanently. MAYBE THIS WILL BE THE YEAR FOR THAT. I don't know for sure, but life reveals itself as you go and we just gotta keep rolling with the punches. I'm planning to audition for a few small companies in the coming months and I might even audition for some summer programs that take old people (up to 25 while most only take up to 18) like me. That would be crazy... To leave my job for awhile and go somewhere to dance for the summer... I haven't done that since I was 16 or something. Again, I don't know-these are just options and things I'm thinking about. I'm always open to new things and I don't want to limit myself within reason. Plus I figure that if it's meant to be then it will happen. I of course have to take the steps to make it a possibility, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.

As for this new year and new resolutions.... I KIND OF made 1 resolution. But not really. I don't like limiting myself to resolutions. I think it's amazing to want to grow and to be inspired and to want better for yourself but I feel like there's almost too much pressure and disappointment if you "fail" OR if you resolve to do things or make changes that aren't really sustainable, OR to make changes to yourself that can't really be measured. Like "I want to be a better person". Okay that's great. How are you going to do that? And better yet, how the hell are you going to keep track of that? What are your actions steps to make that an attainable and measurable goal? Now as a rule in life we must all grow and evolve (unless you're Benjamin Button or Peter Pan I suppose) and along with that comes setting goals and trying our very best to better ourselves. I'm 100% for this, I just think it's important to make your goals ATTAINABLE and TANGIBLE. Otherwise, you become too comfortable with failure and letting yourself just not follow through with commitments you make. I've been reading a lot of things recently that say "you're worth it" and I couldn't agree more. You're worth the effort of sticking to the commitments you make to yourself. You're worth doing everything in your power to be the best you. Ya catch my drift? We are all worth it, no one life is more valuable than another. We are all living beings. Now onto my sorta resolution for 2015...

I've committed to give the good ol Paleo Autoimmune Protocol (AIP) a shot for 30 days. I started on Monday the 5th partially because on the first I was coming off a hard night of New Year's Eve drinking and didn't feel it was a great way to start this, but also because I wanted to start it at the beginning of the week, so I did! For those of you that don't know (probably most of you) AIP is specifically geared to eliminate all typical gut irritating foods that can cause an immune response. If you want more info on AIP and just autoimmune diseases in general then go to thepaleomom.com and/or autoimmune-paleo.com. Here is a quick list of restricted foods on AIP just to give you an idea:

Dairy, Soy, Legumes (including peanuts), Grains, Refined Sugars, Eggs, Nuts, Seeds, Nightshades(including seasonings), Industrial Seed Oils, Alcohol, NSAID's, Food Additives, etc.

There's of course a lot more to it but you should head on over to those sites I mentioned above if you want more info on it. I haven't actually been diagnosed with an autoimmune condition but with a few conditions I do have TYPICALLY being autoimmune in nature I am giving this a try. I'm treating it more like an elimination diet which it is also referred to as, and I'm hoping I might see and feel some results. There are of course reintroduction instructions but some food may never really be introduced without consequence for some people. I am also going to a Naturopath or Functional Medicine Doctor on Monday to get some testing done to try and get to the bottom of somethings I've been dealing with. If you want more specific info on what I've got going on medically you can PM me. I'm not comfortable airing out all my dirty laundry on the internet, at least not as of right now- maybe some day!

Anyway Today is day 5 (I wrote this a week ago so I'm actually on day 12 now) and I'm feeling great! It has been rough, especially the first few days coming off of eating a lot of treats and drinking more often than usual during celebrations over the holidays there has been some detoxing for sure. I know every day will be different, but today I'm feeling honeymoon-y and I'm loving it (ew McDonald's why did you have to ruin that phrase?). I have eaten a butt ton of fish and steak. Also a lot of salads. If I'm being completely honest I did not prep for this very well but coming off of normal Paleo makes it not the biggest adjustment ever, but for me a big adjustment nonetheless since I relied heavily on nut and seed butters plus I love a lot of nightshade veggies. Ernest bought me so much food to make this easier on me and more possible so we have quite a lot of groceries at the moment but no actual meal plan in place. It's working out just fine though and I'm grateful for his support. On the other hand, Practical Paleo by Diane Sanfilippo (best paleo book ever btw - Liz Wolfe calls it the Paleo Bible... Because it pretty much is) has an amazing 30 day meal plan - well okay there are like 20 different meal plans to accommodate ALL DIFFERENT ISSUES. How awesome is that? There is an AIP meal plan that I want to use for the coming weeks. I might end up extending this whole thing longer than 30 days (like 60 or 90) depending on what goes down on Monday and how I feel after the 30. So that meal plan might be used 100% during the next 30 days, we'll just have to wait and see. It should be an interesting journey. I've been looking at the 'whole 30' (another 30 day paleo program) website a lot since this is essentially the same thing and I've been following the daily "what should I expect" so I can have an idea of what might be to come. My experience hasn't really matched up thus far but it's interesting and entertaining nonetheless! I've been eating A LOT of fruits and veggies. As I hinted at above, my husband has been BEYOND supportive and helpful despite my detoxing bitchiness and I love him for it. He's cooked for me, packed lunches for me, and even grocery shopped for me. He's Seriously the best. Plus I don't think I'm the only one who get's grumpy while detoxing right? I believe it's a normal part of the adjustment period.... At least that's what I tell myself...

Horizons horizons, new horizons. OH! I got caught up on Downton Abbey which is super exciting- all thanks to my Amazon Prime membership!!! Woohoo now I just can't wait to watch 5th season. Okay I'll stop. But it's a great show to watch while also doing yoga or stretching or even cleaning in my case. I cleaned a lot over the holidays(which I know I already said) and since the holidays as well. I love it when my home is clean. I even took down ALL of our Christmas decorations on 1/3/15. I am on top of my game this year. Normally I'm terrible with that kinda stuff. But here's to new year's and turning over new leaves, and being okay with possibly turning that leaf right back over to where it originally started sometimes. Change doesn't happen over night after all. Although in someways it totally does.

On that note I bid you addue! Or However the hell you spell that... You know what I mean though, just think of the Sound of Music and have a great weekend! I'm starting it off by attempting to make the Urban Poser's Tomato-less "Marinara" Sauce (it was delicious) and chillin with my home girls. Tomorrow I have an audition and I'm going to Danielle Walker from Against All Grain's book signing event in Falls Church VA!! SO EXCITED! I feel like I'm meeting a Paleo celebrity... HAHA lame sauce I know.

xoxo -Harmony

ALSO I want to give credit where credit is due for the "featured image" on this post, it's actually a really awesome and touching story... Please read more about the story behind that picture HERE.

The Struggle is Real

Look at the little girl in this picture. Why is she crying? She's doing ballet and little girls LOVE ballet, right!? Poor little thing shouldn't be crying... To anyone who is not a dancer this photo may make you laugh as it does me, but there is so much more freaking meaning behind this to me, and anyone else who is a dancer GETS what I mean... "The Struggle is Real" I'm sure most of you have heard this phrase over the course of the past year. It's meant to poke fun at us people living in a first world country complaining about things like our makeup or hair looking bad while some people have real problems and struggles. Take for example people who don't know when or where their next meal will come from. Or hm I dunno WAR that is actually taking place right outside people's windows... Crazy siege's in Australia. Just casual every day stuff. *Please note my sarcasm* However, to add to our nations self absorption and further feed the first world problems frenzy I am here to yet again ironically use the saying the struggle is real because damn it despite my life being pretty damn good, I feel a struggle.

Things have been weird recently. I feel different than I ever have before, I'm dancing again, but not teaching, I'm working at a job that I feel remarkably indifferent about, and I just feel.... WEIRD. I had a great relaxing weekend with my husband who is sick, we stayed in and watched TV... Like  A LOT of TV. Got caught up on all the shows we watch together, including some crazy mid season finale's and it was nice to relax and unwind after all the recent mayhem. Of course Ernest was sick so it wasn't quite as enjoyable for him but I digress...

THEN here comes Monday. Freaking Monday. I was actually pretty chipper in the morning, I listened to some good radio (The Kane Show) on the way to work that had me laughing despite the terrible traffic and over 1hr long drive. I got a lot of work done and although work is work it was actually okay. I mean it wasn't a horrible day or anything, so really no complaints there. I think I sort of have a coping mechanism when it comes to work, I like to BLUR details in my memory so I just have a faint glow of a memory when it comes to the days or weeks past. SO who knows, maybe if I had been writing this yesterday it would be different. We'll just never know.

Moving on... I left early of course to get to dance class. On the dance menu yesterday was Modern for an hour (Graham style) then ballet technique with floor exercises and stretching at the end of class (another 2.5 hrs). I don't know if it's because I bummed around this weekend or what but man, I felt off in class. Hence the photo. It was rough. Any dancer can understand having these types of days. No matter how much confidence I felt I had gained over the past 5 years without dance all it took was an experienced dancer to come into class that made the teacher BEAM (I mean seriously she smiled from ear to ear while this girl did the combination across the floor) while watching her to make me feel like a lump of turd again. It's so tough, this industry. I'm trying to get back and obviously I realize that I'm out of shape and have a long way to go but I find myself questioning so much at times like these. The self doubt creeps back in, I wonder if I will ever have the "quality" that this other woman does. I know she and I are different and I'm different but what if my version is never going to be coveted. I'm embarrassed to even admit just how much this got me down. Shame on me really. To let something so small and insignificant affect me so much. I'm perfectly aware that there are amazing dancers out there, I just don't see them in class on a regular basis. I refuse to take steps backwards and revert to my old self conscious self. I just find myself wondering if the "things" I need to change in my technique are things that I'll be able to change. It's like telling a runner who has run the same way their whole life to run differently. Or maybe it's not. I'm not a runner.

As a dancer we put a lot of trust into our teachers and dance mentors. We need people to take a chance on us and correct us but what if they're steering us in the wrong direction? OR conversely, what if the direction they send you in or just making a suggested change or correction from a teacher changes everything. After an initial first impression (seeing a dancer dance for the first time) wears off they see how incredibly normal and average we are, don't they? Maybe I need to teach again...

Okay... I think I need to stop now and switch gears. Let me just say that I DO NOT like Kanye West... In fact typically when I think of Kanye I think about this:

It's pretty much one of my favorite things ever and always makes me at least smile if not chuckle. The reason I bring up Kanye is because I saw this earlier today and really liked it:

Yep, Kanye got something right in his lyrics.... It's common sense isn't it? Obviously there is only one of me, and only one of you, and in this case OF COURSE there are literally millions of people who are better at ballet than me. I mean we all technically KNOW this but the problem is believing it's okay to not be the best and not letting life and comparing yourself to others get you down... I know, I know... First world problems. I just danced the freaking sugar plum fairy and now here I am boo hooing that someone better than me came to class and now I feel bad about myself. Any girl in that school would've killed to perform that role. I'm such a freaking brat sometimes. Part of the problem I suppose is that even while dancing sugar plum I felt unworthy of it. Hopefully class today will go better, then I'll be happy again. It's just that easy. Good class = good mood. Bad class = bad mood until a better class experience is achieved. No wonder I was so depressed in high school!

Things will get better and I'll figure my life out, hey at least I'm trying. I never want to look back and think I didn't do everything I could to try and make it happen. I'm trying, we'll see how this all plays out.

xoxo - Harmony

Cracking nuts and toes

Amidst my schedule that has been unbelievably busy recently I seem to have found myself with some free time. I've been heavily immersed in the world of ballet. I'm currently at a dress rehearsal for a show that I may or may not be dancing in. This is what we in the ballet call being an understudy. I already danced two performances last weekend but alas here I am again this weekend saying 'to dance or not to dance, that is the question.' It's amazing though the magic that happens in a theater and on a stage. When all the pieces come together the result is something that cannot be simply explained, it must be experienced.

Okay let me back up a little bit. Last time I posted was probably a good 2-3 weeks ago and I was just done with my first week of getting back into ballet classes. Well an amazing opportunity was presented to me after an injury occurred at a studio I took class at and here I am, having done two performances as their sugar plum fairy. I'm still only about 3 weeks into taking classes and the grand pas is HARD. Plus I'm in shock that this actually happened at all. I never imagined landing a role period let alone one line this... And so soon. That coupled with a few other complications and circumstances has my body begging for mercy. I had to learn the entire pas -a version I had never even seen before- in a week and be able to perform it. Talk about pressure... Then from crazy blisters, to dead point shoes, randomly swollen feet, uncomfortable nude leotards, stage makeup, brand new tights that ripped on stage and a slew of other factors this whole experience has been a whirlwind.

I've met a lot of great people, pushed myself in ways I did not foresee, and it's been great. It really has. There's been plenty of drama and discomfort that's gone along with all of it but I feel blessed. I had one performance that felt like a train wreak in which my my shoes died during the pas, and my tights literally caught on my partners costume on stage and ripped a big hole in my butt. But more importantly I felt incomplete, defeated, and disappointed in myself after the fact. I didn't feel elated, or even a little bit happy for having performed and survived. I knew I could do better which was frustrating but more importantly I also knew that I hadn't done well. But that second performance was magic.

Everything came together on stage. It still wasn't anywhere near perfect but with how out of shape I am, I was never expecting perfection. All things considered, this time I felt it. I felt the happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of accomplishment that I have been accustomed to feeling after performing. That feeling is what I'm doing all of this for. Life is a funny thing, it reveals its meaning to you when you least expect it.

Okay well I need to be ready to dance just in case so I should probably do that. Did I mention that this show is sold out?? Crazy right!? We'll see what happens, I'm fine whatever way this goes. My body would be relieved if I didn't have to dance, that's for sure... Well until next time...

Xoxo - Harmony

Midnight Ramblings

I tend to write posts and let them sit for a few days before I read them over again and actually post them. I wrote this one on Sunday evening... As will be obvious from the first sentence. I can hardly call this midnight, since it's literally only 10:30pm on this Sunday evening but nonetheless I will now begin to ramble. After watching some Gilmore Girls and falling asleep, then waking back up to turn it off and 'officially' go to bed almost an hour ago my mind is racing  It's amazing how you can just fall asleep during an activity but then when you actually try to go to bed it can be futile. In this case I find myself going over the ballet classes I've taken the past two Saturdays. Now to be fair I don't feel HORRIBLE about them. I mean I haven't consistently danced since the end of 2008 or early 2009. YEP 2009. That's almost 6 freaking years ago. So with that in mind I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. And I mean thank God I do bikram yoga, because otherwise I don't think this whole trying to get back into dance thing would even be possible.

Bikram has allowed me to regain flexibility, strength, mental discipline, and although I haven't fully regained all of it, and ballet is an entirely different beast of it's own, it's helped this process.

Yet I still find myself tossing and turning, going over the parts in class where I particularly felt inadequate. I don't know why, but I swear what I'm struggling the most with in these classes is my brain. As a ballet teacher I always tell my students that they need to know the combinations because otherwise you can't work on refining the steps or remembering corrections because you're too caught up just trying to keep up with the combination. Which is true. But I now find myself being that person who cannot remember the combinations. I have never been this person. In the past, whatever I physically lacked, I made up for with a good mind, I could pick up and remember combinations for days like it was nothing.

Needless to say I am frustrated as hell with myself on this. How can I get my brain to catch up to my body? And I'll be damned if in the next class I take a get stumped by another petite allegro (small jumping) combination. I mean seriously. Yes, I've never been strong in the petite allegro variety but SHEESH it's never been this rough. I see even just as I write all of this out that I'm weighing far too heavily on comparing this 24 year old out of practice version of me to the 18 year old 'best shape I've been in' dancer version of me who had been taking ballet class 4 hours a day 6 days a week for practically 6 years straight, if not longer.

But how can I not do that? I NEED to push myself. I can't settle for just being okay. If there's anything I took away from all of the "Academic Ballet Courses" I took at Kirov it's the line "Ballet does not stand mediocrity." I cannot remember who the hell said it but I seriously have never heard a truer statement, and I knew it as soon as I heard it. Mediocrity just has no place in ballet. No one wants to watch that. Especially no one wants to pay to see that, and sure as hell no one is going to pay you to dance poorly or even just 'okay'. You can barely get paid to dance amazingly... SO yeah.

Why I am taking myself back down this rabbit hole than you may ask? The only word that comes to mind is: PASSION.

I seriously just love it. I don't know why, I can't explain it, there will probably always be at least a small part of me that dreads ballet class and the uncertainty of how my body will perform that day, but I do love it. Being a professional ballet dancer in a ballet company (which by the way I'm sure means nothing to people in the 'normal' world) is a hard life. I have friends who are in it and beyond talented who struggle with their directors just not giving them the chances they deserve. It's a crazy world where people don't eat and they abuse their bodies day in and day out. But there's an insane part of me that just wants a small taste of it.

I don't know if my brain will start to cooperate. I don't know if my body will cooperate. But I couldn't sit in bed tossing and turning going over the parts in class I WISH I had done better in. It gives me anxiety, and to be honest, there is not one damn thing I can do about it right now from my bed.

I needed this outlet, so thank you for existing. Thoughts can haunt us, and drown us sometimes. Sometimes we just need some gratification and acknowledgement and writing can somehow provide that. I actually had a good bikram class just this morning, the teacher even asked me to demonstrate a posture (floor bow) to my surprise. I felt very humbled and honored - I've seen people be called out for demonstrations countless times, and I've always wished to be that person. I also never really imagined that I would be, I am the type of person who needs interaction and validation, as I believe we all do in different ways. I may be more secure with myself in some ways but in others I still lack the self assurance to know how I am doing beyond- "wow, that was really shitty."

I have to put the classes behind me and move forward. The next classes will be even better. Bikram and ballet alike. I actually have an idea of a plan for how to make this ballet thing work... It's still a rough draft but maybe I'll share it at some point if it turns out to be doable (I HOPE!).

There is so much more to life than all this little self centered petty stuff I wrote about above. I needed to get my thoughts out and I did, which I can appreciate  but there is so much more to my life than this here. Last weekend for instance, we celebrated my dear sister in law's birthday on Sunday by going to a winery. It was a nice time, my brother and I baked her a blueberry tart thingy from her pinterest, then on her actual birthday (Monday) we went to a great restaurant that caters to people with food allergies. They had a lot of dairy free and gluten free options on the menu which were great. I also made her this awesome paleo coconut cream pie from Living Healthy with Chocolate that I also made last year. Since it was so well received, I decided to give it a repeat appearance this year. Then yesterday after hanging out in Poolesville at the ballet studio for most of the day, I stopped by my brother and sister in law's house (the same one mentioned above - Johanna) and we ate pie, and talked. Later we made this AMAZING soup that popped up on my facebook newsfeed and went to a game night. I played a whole lot of the game Telestrations and literally laughed until my stomach hurt. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed THAT hard, and it was awesome. Lastly on this here Sunday I met Johanna for yoga, then we met some more friends at an adorable restaurant in Alexandria for a late brunch which was also great. I eventually made my way home to a lazy evening with my husband and you know this rest about this evening.

That's it. That's all I have for today and this weekend and everything else. I hope I've sufficiently emptied out my brain enough for sleep. I'm excited for lyrical class tomorrow evening, it should be a lot of fun. I'm hoping to hang out afterwards and put my pointe shoes back on. Oh yeah that's another thing. No longer having ballet callouses sucks... Pointe shoes really hurt again. And they haven't since I was maybe 11? It's like I ran backwards for miles or something. But it's OKAY. I'll get there, thank God (and the Secret) for the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction. I feel so much better right now, you have no idea.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

xo - Harmony

Strap on your pointe shoes - we're going to town

It's a very crisp autumn morning here in Northern VA. It's becoming that time of year when it's really just quite chilly outside. Ya just can't get away with wearing no jacket anymore and in other words.... Winter is Coming. That last sentence will have extra meaning for anyone who watches Game of Thrones. Speaking of watching things, Gilmore Girls is on Netflix! Now I must tell the truth, I already own all of the seasons of Gilmore Girls... I don't know what it is but I've always loved the show and I've seen most of the full seasons at least 2-3 if not 4 times already. But last week I found myself with a lack of TV to watch... That is of course besides the show's I watch with my husband that are sitting in my hulu queue waiting for the day we will sit down and watch them (we watched about 3 last night). With this is in mind, I began watching Gilmore Girls yet again from the very beginning.

I'm now on the first episode of season 2.. Yippee! I have a problem.... But I'm okay with it. Again, hubby does not understand my as he calls it "fascination" with the show. Meh, I dunno. I just like it...?!

Moving on...

Last weekend was halloween, and it was a blast! I of course had to work on the day of, but since it was casual Friday I was able to dress up with some of my coworkers. We were Toddlers in Tiaras(see pictures below). We then went to happy hour after work and called it a night. On Saturday I went to a bar crawl- again as a toddler in a tiara- with my friend Lizz and some of her close friends who are a really fun group of people. It was so much FUN! I used to get REALLY nervous in new social situations or hanging out with friends of friends who I don't really know but there was none of that this time. I think I've become a much calmer and secure person as of late and I love it. I don't care AS much what people think of me and it's liberating. Halloween was good times.

Here is were this update (non halloween related) gets interesting though... Last week on Monday I took my first lyrical dance class really ever.... I've taken very sporadic jazz classes in the past (mostly at ballet summer programs) and although it's very similar to lyrical I'm told they're different. But it was a lot of fun and I can't wait to go back weekly... Lizz posted a video of it on facebook. I swear she and I are like friendship soul mates. I really hope we can keep a good friendship now that we no longer work together. I guess you just never know how things will turn out. I surely didn't expect to make such great friends at my current job, but they really are great. Okay back to the video... The video is not my best dancing, but considering my "out of shape" state, I'm pretty pleased with it. That and oh yeah, i'm a ballet dancer, not a jazz or lyrical dancer. But it was fun!

THEN on Saturday I took adult ballet class locally at Virginia Ballet and ran into my high school math teacher... Small world right!? Okay I took class, it was fun but sheesh I'm out of shape. Even so, the other adults in the class made it quite clear that they were following my lead as is quite customary in these adult type classes. They usually consist of either first time dancers or older women (40's-60's) who just wanna dance! Side Note: I'm not saying that women in their 40's-60's are old, but as far as ballet dancers goes it's an older age group. It's awesome for them, it's not really what I need right now but I still enjoy it as long as I don't upset anyone in the process. It's a great studio and I hope they hire me to sub some classes for them. I did talk to them about it so fingers crossed!

Then this week I had probably the best bikram class that I've had in awhile AND I subbed ballet, tech, jazz, lyrical, crazy hybrid classes at a studio Lizz hooked me up with locally: CDC. ALSO a lot of fun. I love the lack of pressure and relaxed setting, makes the whole teaching process a lot more enjoyable. But at the same time frustrating. Anyway, today is Saturday. I woke up at 7:30 all on my own, and I'm about to drive an hour out for a ballet class. I am a little worried since this is a regular advanced ballet class and not an adults intermediate class. My body isn't REALLY ready for this but I just have to push it. Especially my petite allegro, for some reason my brain has been having trouble understanding it again. I swear it's more of a mental than a physical issue. But I will get there!

Right now the plan is to take lyrical on Mondays, do bikram the rest of the week, and do ballet on Saturdays, schedule permitting. I wish that said I was going to take ballet class every day but I just don't know how to make it work. It is SO expensive and lets be real, the classes are usually too relax for my purposes when you get to an adult level. I can take classes in Poolesville (although it's far out) at least weekly but I wish that was daily... I could try one day to leave work at 2:30 to get there but I worry it'll be pushing my luck in more ways than one. Technically I work a 9-5 although my schedule generally runs more of an 7:30-3:30 kinda thing. I'd literally have to get into work at 6:30am in order to leave at 2:30 and possibly make the 3:30 class in MD. That plus I'd have to deal with glares from everyone in the office, and their moms. But I'm going to see what I can do. I really need class 6 days a week to get back myself. I don't mind making the time commitment.

Right now I'm a bit torn. It feels great to be back in the dance saddle. I still feel nervous and never know what to expect from my body today but I'm trying. The schedule is far from perfect but it's better than nothing! Maybe when the new year rolls around I'll try to make some more changes.... Change, change, change.

Life is fluid, people move, grow, evolve, CHANGE. And that's a good thing right? If we were stagnant and unchanging I might be a bit worried. But change can be hard to accept also. Like when friends move away, or friends you've made at a job change career paths, or you make drastic changes to your life like adopting a healthy lifestyle, or having a baby... Change happens, it's inevitable, and it's good. I say bring it on bitches! I sure hope this ballet class goes well today. The studio I'm going to today knew me back in my ballet prime. I'm so grateful to be able to take classes there, but I'm also nervous. Now i'm about 6 years older, and 6 more years out of practice and shape... It's going to be embarrassing, I know that much. But I hope it's okay and I don't die! Just my last thoughts for the morning. Now I need to leave to make sure I get there on time to actually take class!

Much love as always!

Harmony

Mysterious Ways

The line currently playing through my head over and over is from the new Ed Sheeran song Thinking Out Loud that says "I'm thinkin bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe with just the touch of a hand. Well me, I fall in love with you every single day...". There are so many lines in that song that I just LOVE. Plus his gorgeous voice and the melody. I've been listening to it nonstop. You should really go listen to it and watch the video because there are some seriously killer dance moves up in thurr as well. That's where today's title is from. And that's where I am today. It's kinda gloomy and rainy outside, I'm at work, and just loving this song. I really just LOVE it. #swoon When I listen to it I gets chills, and think about how lucky I am to have an amazing man in my life. We're coming up on our 5 YEAR marriage anniversary which is on Tuesday October 14th. Originally we wanted to take a trip at the end of October to celebrate but we put in our passport applications a bit too late so it looks like we'll be going early next year, maybe in January or February, we'll see! Regardless we have a long weekend coming up for Columbus Day and I'm excited to spend it with him doing something or other! I also might go to a winery with some of my work friends. Also it looks like I might be baby sitting my bestie's son. He's so cute, he makes me want a baby of my own. Like now. OH and I'm lucky enough to have been selected as a bridesmaid in my friend Lauren's wedding which is next weekend. So there's a lot of busyness coming up very soon. We are meeting this weekend to hash out some of those final details. I can be so mushy sometimes it blows my mind. Literally while driving in the car yesterday I was thinking about Lauren and David getting married, and just how happy I am for them and started crying a little. Not bad crying by any means. But just little happy tears. I really only get like this when I'm alone. I have trouble showing my softy touchy side when I'm around other people. Dunno why. Maybe a defense mechanism or something, who knows! But hot damn talk about silly girly crying. But I really am so happy for them. For realz.

Moving on...

Right now is that awkward 'in between' season where not ALL of your normal TV shows are back on but they're gradually making their way back into the screen through cable, hulu, netflix and otherwise. I watch a lot of shows so it's pretty exciting to see them all come back and actually have new episodes sitting in my hulu queue. Also over the past month or so I've watched an entire season of Supernatural, Psych, and almost the entire SERIES (season 1-7) of Californication. I'm not quite done with that one yet though, but still... Pretty impressive no? That's what I've been doing instead of blogging and cleaning...

Also  football is in full swing and we've been going out to enjoy happy hour and watching the games a lot. OH and amazing cider discoveries at Total Wine- The Fall Harvest Woodchuck tastes just like Apple Pie! Yay for apple and squash season!

     

The seasons are a changing! The color of the leaves are starting to change, kids are back in school, the future looks bright and gosh I have to wear a jacket outside! I LOVE autumn. I used to hate it... Like really I hated it because it meant that the weather was gonna start getting cold which is just yuck right? But what a pessimistic way of looking at a season. While I must admit that I still loathe the winter time and all the cold sadness it brings, I've learned to love and enjoy the in between time. I now appreciate so much about autumn. Cute autumn decor for my house, nice burgundy and rich orange colors, leather jackets, regular jackets and blazers, cute boots and scarfs… Gosh I mean the weather is beautiful! Lightly chilly but not freezing. We're not at winter hats and mittens yet (THANK GOD). This season reminds me of new beginnings. New and exciting things are to come. Time for change and forward progression. Life goes on. Summer ALWAYS ends and autumn always comes (at least if you live in this area).

Speaking of new beginnings a few personal notes on this topic:

1) I am back on track with my eating! YAY! I'm finally getting back to SUPER clean eating after a small break of not AS clean eating. Woop! I am back on the wagon ladies and gents.

2) I've been thinking a lot about my future... Doing research and contacting people in hopes of taking ballet classes again. I want to perform. I need to perform. In theory I'd like to join a small ballet company but first and foremost I need to get back into the studio for plain ol' class. It's been WAY TOO LONG and I miss it. I'm trying to make this happen but gosh it's so much harder than it sounds. Plus the thought of taking class literally gives me anxiety. I care WAY too much about what other people think.

3) I've been THINKING about partaking in a bikram yoga competition in January... The studio I attend Pure Om Fairfax is starting competition training... And gosh I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to give it a try. I din't expect to place, I know I'm not the best, but I still think it would be a fun and awesome challenge. But I worry SO much about people judging me. I worry about telling the instructors that I'm interested and maybe they will think I'm crazy for wanting to try. Maybe they'll call me out for not attending class often enough or not having a practice that's "regular" enough. I don't know... But it's swirling in my head!

4) I got a new piercing! I got my tragus pierced. My beautiful sister in law Johanna has had her's pierced for years. I wanted to get a cool funky piercing and after weighing my options I decided that I wanted to get it pierced too. And I apologized for copying her now years after the fact. The piercing place gave me $10 off my next piercing. I'm thinking of getting my cartilage re-pierced on the opposite ear (I had it done with a piercing gun last time instead of with a needle-TERRIBLE idea... It was infected nonstop) and getting the third hole on my left ear to match my right ear. You wanted all these details right? ANYWAY it's exciting. I haven't gotten anything pierced since my belly button and that was in 2008. So yeah. The day after I got my tragus pierced (which also in case you were wondering did not hurt very badly at all) it bled kind of a lot. But Google tells me that's normal and I'll be alright... Progression of the pics below from left to right... Minutes after getting it done, the day after, then bleeding the day after, and finally, TODAY...

   

I have been cleaning the piercing twice daily, first with a warm epsom salt soak, than I spray with an organic raw apple cider vinegar and water mixture. 1 part ACV to 2 parts H2O should do. I didn't want to use anything unnatural on my ear and I think it's doing quite well!

5) I want to start this one off by saying that my husband Ernest pretty much hates tattoos. However, when our precious puppy Lulu was hit by a car at the young age of 2 and died a few years ago (it'll be 3 years on Jan 26th) he agreed that I could get a small one to commemorate her. There were other conditions to this as well, but I won't go into those! Long story short, I planned out a tiny paw print outline for my wrist but never went through with it. I have recently picked back up with the tattoo planning for my wrist but I'm thinking of going in a different direction. I loved my dog, and I will love the rest of the dogs I own (at least I sure as hell think I will) but I worry that a paw print tattoo- however meaningful- can be cheesy. Now if you have a paw print tattoo, please take no offense, I am just speaking for myself and my body. Because of this I have a lot of pressure to make this one tiny tattoo encompass all the meaning I need it to. Including love for my husband, my pets, my future children, myself, and this life... So I've been doodling and pinning. We'll see where it all goes! New beginnings right!

6) My coworker (and friend) and I were looking into possible career growth plans and we are both sort of interested in contracts. I already do some work with contracts and she and I looked up a certificate program which got us both super excited! However, the excitement quickly dwindled for reasons I can't speak of in a public setting... But why do life and career choices have to be so damn hard sometimes? Blahh

7) Another of my friends and coworker's had pretty major surgery last week on the chest area and I (and many of her other close friends and family) was helping her with the recovery. It's pretty cool to help someone make their life better. Not that I really did ANYTHING but making the tough decision to make a big change to make yourself happier (wow I just said "make" way too many times). Inspiring no? It can be so hard to know what we want and to just get over our fears and go for it. She's super happy now and damn I think she was brave as hell. I hope to have the same bravery in different ways for myself...! Like the whole ballet and bikram thing I mentioned above...

8) My car was rear ended in July (see below) and I've been going to the chiropractor 3 times a week pretty much since then. I am so happy to say that today was my last day of therapy on my neck and shoulders! This feels like an accomplishment at this point. Lame I know, but it's something. Also my car is finally back in tip top shape. YAY! :)

I suppose that's it for now really. I have some recipes to post for you my readers, and at some point and I promise I will get around to doing it.... At least eventually...! OH I should have my first Stitchfix waiting for me when I get home! I post about that more in detail later! If you actually take the time to read my ramblings, just know that I do in fact appreciate it...! I do! So thank you.

MUAH! Until we meet again.... Harmony