How to have a GOOD Morning!

.Well when you write a super stellar blog post with great info and you lose the whole thing... Sometimes you decide to write a random blog post just to make yourself feel a little bit better. And sometimes the post that started off as a random post actually takes on a bigger purpose and meaning, yay! This is that post.

So I want to start by saying that I'm sorry for being a bit MIA this month.

You know how when there's something that you're supposed to do (like write a specific blog post on a specific topic) then it makes you not want to do it at all even though it's typically something you enjoy doing? No? Well anyway that's what the post I just lost was for me. It felt like pulling teeth to get myself to sit down and write it, and I had finally done so...

But I will rewrite it again at some point but today is not that day. Everything happens for a reason so I'm honeslty not even upset about it! GAH there are so many exciting things happening in my life and business I just want to share them ALL!

Life has been kind of crazy recently! 

It's been good. It's been great. But it's also been crazy! First I'd like to just mention - how in the hell is it already October, and almost 2017!? The fact that my September bday already came and went this year is blowing my mind. Less than 90 days til we're at a new year again. That's scary! What are you planning? I know I'm circling back to some goals I set for the year and trying to stay true to the word I assigned for 2016 - and that was GROWTH.

With growth in mind - I wanted to write this blog post about my morning routine and how it has really transformed things for me in a BIG WAY. It might even help you to incorporate some, if not ALL of these habits into you life! Proceed with an open mind and believe me when I say that I was never a morning person before. In fact I would roll out of bed after snoozing my alarm for about an hour and reluctantly go on with my day, usually pissed off that I had to adult in some way shape or form.

So on to the purpose of this post! My morning routine to balance hormones, improve digestion, and start every day with true PURPOSE

1. Oil Pulling

Yep I know it sounds weird. I literally roll out of bed every morning, pee, and then put about a tablespoon of coconut oil, olive oil, grapeseed oil, or castor oil in my mouth! Oil pulling is an ancient Indian practice of swishing oil in your mouth for up to 20 minutes! You can start with about 5 minutes, and daily try to work your way up to 20. I'll give some more details on this below. I like to multitask while I'm oil pulling - sometimes I get dressed and organized for my day, and sometimes I have dance parties as my snapchat followers can attest to, it just depends on the day!

Benefits:

Oil pulling improves digestion by detoxifying the area where our digestion starts: the mouth. Not only do you pull toxins from your mouth into the oil, but it also stimulates your mucous response and typically when you spit it out, you end up spitting out some phlegm. Gross I know, but even when I'm not sick or congested that stuff comes out - and I'd much rather get it out of my body then have it sitting in there - gross! This reduces inflammation, aids digestion, and whitens teeth - all things that are good on their own, but in the grand scheme of things they will also help clear your acne!!

Method:

Put one of the oil listed above in your mouth. You must do this on an empty stomach or it might make you throw up a little when you spit it out. Swish around for ideally 20 minutes, but work your way up to it starting with 5-10 minutes at first. Do not swallow the oil. By the end of 20 minutes the oil will be filled with toxins, mucous, and particles from your mouth. You will spit this out into a trashcan and not your skin - because that will clog your sink in no time! Immediately after spitting out the oil and getting out some mucous, you'll want to brush your teeth!

2. Tooth Powder

Yes, it's true. I brush my teeth with tooth powder! Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn! I thought it was weird at first but I actually like it a lot personally. There are a lot of different ones on the market these days but I can't really speak to those - my personal favorite is by Dr. Christopher that you can find on amazon HERE   not only is it a great price, but it's a great product and lasts forever! 

Benefits:

By using this herbal tooth powder you're mouth is getting cleaner than it does with conventional toothpaste and without all the chemicals! Enough said I think! Oh also if you're breaking out around your mouth - your toothpaste is likely the culprit! I was always told to put toothpaste on pimples as a teen - it never worked - and the reason I now know is because BAKING SODA that used to be in toothpaste and isn't really anymore, can help pimples. Anyway....

Method:

I hope you know how to brush your teeth.. Wet tooth brush, dip into powder, and brush in circular motion. Rinse and repeat if you so desire!

3. Oil Cleansing Method (OCM)

Okay.... so a few things here before I get into the nitty gritty... First off - and my clients all know this - I typically recommend doing the OCM in the evenings in order to take off any makeup, and just wiping your face down with a damp towel in the morning and or spritzing with some topical probiotics OR some natural toner. This is accurate - HOWEVER since I no longer wear makeup on my skin daily and I typically do some kinda face rinse midday after a workout, I honestly don't "wash" my face before bed often. I will say that when I have done OCM the night before then I won't do it in the morning - I do it once a day and that's it - again unless makeup is somehow involved then it very rarely happens twice in a day. Another thing I'd like to mention is that I often do this WHILE I'm Oil Pulling to save time! I can't officially recommend this because it takes some practice and I don't want people choking on oil because they tried to multitask. Plus it isn't necessary in any way - but it's a time saving trick nonetheless!

Benefits: 

 Depending on the oil you use you will see different benefits! Oils actually carry a lot of great nutrients in them for our skin! One of my faves for OCM is Grapeseed oil which has oleic acid that's wonderful for skin health, it's non comedogenic (doesn't clog pores), restores collagen, reduces scars, fights aging, helps acne, tightens skin, helps with those dark circles around your eyes, a ton of other things. PLUS contrary to popular "conventional" belief, oil actually cleans oil - it doesn't clog you pores. However, I'll say if you're switching from conventional face wash or especially prescription grade face wash then you're skin will have to adjust to the new routine. You could start by just using grapeseed oil as a moisturizer after your cleanser and progress from there! This could take a few weeks, or even up to a month or so. But in the long run it is totally worth it! Just take it slow and let your skin adjust! There's no rush!

Method:

Pour about a quarter size of oil into the palm or your hand and take some time to really massage the oil into your skin. It's like getting a facial at home! I like to massage it in circular motions for 10-20 seconds making sure I get every spot including my neck. Then take a warm, clean, moist hand towel and set it on your face for about 10-30 seconds to allow the oil to be absorbed into your skin. Make sure the towel is NOT hot. Just warm. After about 10-30 seconds use the same towel to wipe the oil off your face thoroughly, and then rinse the towel and you're done! It feels soooo good! In the evenings (when I wear makeup) I end up doing OCM twice in a row. I use grape seed oil to take off my makeup with the method above, then with a new towel I use Fatco to cleanse my face. More often than not I only end up using the Fatco oil in the mornings (it has grapeseed oil in it) which you can find HERE. And in all honesty I'm kind of obsessed with the "oily skin" Fatco face cleansing oil!! You should def give it a try!

4. Morning Tonic

There are many different things you can drink as your morning tonic, but this is the mixture that I not only can tolerate, but I actually enjoy it! Feel free to mix it up, and also take it slow! Start off with just a small amount of Raw Unfiltered Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) around 1tsp and in time you can work your way up to about 2 tbs! But beware, depending on what's going on in your gut and how much you drink, it can make you feel nauseous!

Benefits:

I'm sure you've heard all about the magic that is ACV. It's said to lower cholesterol, help you lose weight, regulate blood sugars, heal leaky gut, aid in digestion, break down mucus, so on and so forth! But the reason I find it particularly beneficial is because it contains organic acids and enzymes that help to balance Ph in your gut and creates an environment where probiotics can grow and flourish. This is HUGE! Probiotics are essential for gut health and gut health is essential for really every single aspect of your life far beyond just eating and eliminating food. I believe it was Hippocrates that said "all disease starts in the gut". No matter what ails you, I guarantee that you need to work on healing some leaky gut issues! Also if you suffer at all from acid reflux (which I did severely for years) then it can help again to balance the Ph and acids in your stomach and therefore aid in breaking down your foods in digestion, AND nutrient absorption. SO if all that isn't reason enough for you then I don't know what else to tell you. But I'd say this is pretty important!

Method:

I like to have this in the morning 20 minutes before eating. I usually shoot it, then drink some water & tea, then eat. Mix your desired amount of ACV (1TSP - 2TBSP) with one half a juice of lemon, some water, and I like to add a dash of ground ginger, turmeric, & cinnamon! You can also add some manuka honey if you'd like, or slightly heat up some water for the same concoction if you're dealing with candida. But make sure the water isn't boiling or too hot as that will kill those delicate enzymes in the ACV! Again I recommend having your breakfast about 20 minutes later! You can also do this during the day 10-20 minutes before any meal! Below is my YouTube video with the recipe & method as well!

5. Life S.A.V.E.R.S

I got this directly from the book The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. I recommend you get this book ASAP as it has transformed not only my mornings, but really my life in general. I got it on audiobook, but the paperback is great as well! You can find it on amazon HERE. Also once you read it you'll know what I mean - but if anyone wants to do a 30 day MM challenge with me I'm seriously always looking for people to do it with in order to help hold me accountable! I do the actual S.A.V.E.R.S just about everyday, but I don't always manage to wake up at 5. The truth is though, I honestly feel my absolute BEST when I do! Seriously, if you skip everything else I recommended in this blog post, PLEASE do not skip this one! It is truly a life changing practice!

Benefits:

I mean where can I start....??? I feel more motivated, I feel centered, I'm aligned with my purpose and my vision, I feel productive, my dreams and goals are clearer, I am able to manifest and pour energy into the places I want energy to flow in my life, and I honestly finally feel like I'm tapping into my true potential. I know that's a lot, and I can't make a promise that you'll feel the same way, or that you'll even feel good about it at first. But I swear, it's SO worth it!

Method:

S - Silence or meditation. A - Affirmations. V - Visualization, I like to turn on a visualization radio station on Pandora and it really helps me to focus in on what I want to visualize. E - Exercise, I usually save this for the end. R - Reading, I always read a Personal Development, business, or self help book. My current favorite is Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins which you can find HERE. S - Scribe or journal. I sometimes use this time to write out my goals for the day, sometimes I just gather my thoughts, and sometimes I just vent about everything and sort out my feelings and emotions. You can do each activity for 1 minute each if you're short on time, or you can do 10 - 20 minutes on each thing which is my fav! If you want more resources for this book and what its all about click HERE. I highly recommend finding a spot to do these daily activities that is NOT your bed! For instance I have a little window nook where I do them, and it's my favorite spot in my house! I've added pillows, and often my little puppy Addy will join me! 

I absolutely LOVE my little nook and having a place the automatically puts me in a good mood is a good thing also! Okay so that's all for today folks! I hope this post helps you with creating an empowering morning routine you can stick to in order to optimize your health!

I swear, it may not seem important, but how your morning goes can really set the tone for your day. So don't start it off by breaking promises you made to yourself, or running around stressed and pissed because you had to wake up and leave you bed at all! Trust me I get it, I love my bed, but I love having a full and flowing life even more! You deserve to have  GOOD morning also!!!!

As always, please like, comment, and share this post if you found it helpful or think it might help others in any way! It allows me to expand my reach, help more people, and you never know how something like this could change someones life! Leave any questions in the comments section also ya'll!

xoxo- Harmony

Also the links in this post are my affiliate links which means you pay the same amount you usually would but I make a small percentage off the sale for recommending them to you! 

Eat For Acne Meal Plan & Detox Protocol

Are you struggling to clear your skin and get your nutrition on track? Are you holding on to stubborn weight that you can't seem to shake? Maybe you have PCOS or acne and you're looking for natural options to begin the healing process? Sounds like you need my FREE Eat for Acne Meal Plan and Detox Protocol!! Keep reading to find out more...

Don't be fooled by the title of this guide, absolutely anyone and everyone can benefit from my real food based Eat for Acne Meal Plan and Detox Protocol, especially my ladies with PCOS!

This protocol includes loads of super foods, satisfying and nourishing meals, nutritional shakes, supplement options, recipes, tools to help you detox, shopping lists, a complete meal plan with both 3 or 5 day options, and a detailed explanation for all the madness to help you understand the WHY behind it all! As someone who has struggled with both PCOS and severe cystic hormonal acne, learning to naturally heal myself from the inside out with diet and lifestyle has truly been a lifesaver! The hours and years of research and experience on this subject has essentially allowed me to formulate this guide just for you!

Unfortunately acne isn't really a one size fits all when it comes to the root cause or treatments. This is why it's very important to listen to your body and pay very close attention to any minor or major reaction! When eating for acne and optimal health there are multiple factors that must be taken into consideration:

• Digestive issues
• Leaky Gut
• Insulin Regulation
• Sugar & Alcohol Consumption
• Hormonal Imbalances
• Inflammatory & Gut Irritating Foods in Diet
• Liver health
• Omega 6 to Omega 3 ratios
• Stress Management
• Sleep Cycles and Quality of Sleep
• Lack or Excess of Strenuous Exercise
• Detoxification
• Internal Imbalance
• Underlying Autoimmunity
• Food Sensitivities & Allergies
• FODMAP Intolerance
• PCOS & Other Hormonal Disorders
• Topical Irritants
• Surface Contact (phone contact with your face, pillow cases, laundry detergents, resting your chin on your hand, picking at your pimples etc)
• Environmental Factors
• Nutrient Intake and Absorption

Honestly these are just some of the areas that we must look at when it comes to acne. Skin issues can go from extremely simple to very complex and it's imperative to find the root cause of the issues in order to treat them correctly! One universal rule is: if there are any acne or skin problems present, then there is some form of leaky gut and /or digestive issues also present. Even if you have come to think of bloating, gas, acid reflux or indigestion as "normal" they really aren't. Kind of scary right? Well never fear, with time, patience, and self love, you can absolutely heal you leaky gut, hormones, and other skin issues from the inside out! My protocol address many of the categories above by taking a real food approach with a simple 3 day detox protocol with a 5 day option. This is meant to be a beginning point and stepping stone to reaching optimum health and wellness in your every day life. You may complete this protocol as often as you'd like however, it is not recommended for long term use. Rather it should be used as a periodic reset, or after times of prolonged indulgences. 

After completing this protocol it's crucial to move onto a real food, nutrient dense lifestyle that balances sleep, stress, diet, and exercise, in order to continue the healing process from within! I can help you come up with a plan for success! 

Now we know that healing from the inside is 100% necessary, but we can't forget the importance of topical treatments as well! If our topical and environmental treatments are working against us then we may see little progress at all! Every aspect of our lives must work together in order to find clear skin, balance, and health. This includes practicing self love on a regular basis, and choosing to keep a positive attitude despite how emotionally taxing skin issues can be. Even if you don't fully believe these kind words, just say them out loud to yourself every day : I am beautiful regardless of how my skin looks today. My skin does not define my worth and I love myself just the way I am, no matter what.

Your mind is much more powerful than you realize, so don't work against yourself and your goals by participating in negative self talk! As a former self hater, trust me... It's just not worth it!

If you'd like to receive my Eat for Acne Meal Plan and Detox Protocol along with my 3 best 100% natural skincare tips directly to your inbox for FREE just subscribe below:

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Do you want to work with me 1:1 to heal your skin naturally!? Check out our Try It My Way Program for details and apply for a FREE 1:1 Discovery Call with me HERE!

Your success in this journey heavily depends on you and your commitment to yourself, but that doesn't mean you have to do this alone! You may need some help and support along the way! Connecting with others will also increase your likelihood for success! I run free monthly support groups on Facebook for people completing this program and as support for people with the same struggles as you! So if you'd like to join, please click HERE then add yourself to the group and message me on Facebook with what month you'd like to participate with us!

Please check out the Resources page for a one stop shop and access to all the products you'll need for the detox protocol in one place! Plus there's MUCH MUCH MORE! Also see my blog post on Paleo Diet & Lifestyle for my favorite dietary info, real food tips, and a better idea of how to eat for health and acne in a long term sustainable manor without suffering!

REAL TIME UPDATES:

The Eat for Acne Meal Plan and Detox Protocol was recently updated to include the most current information from this website and me. 

xoxo - Harmony

The Full Scoop Behind the Paleo Diet & Lifestyle

I know, so many people hear or read the word paleo and just think of some overly beefed up caveman-esque dude or chick who's obsessed with crossfit, and eats raw meat & sweet potatoes all day. Or some of you might just think of Tarzan (ahem Davina! haha). While it's true that Tarzan WAS in fact paleo (or so we can assume) and many people who eat and follow Paleo are pretty fit and HOT, that mold doesn't exaclty apply to everyone in the world of paleo.

Paleo has gotten so much mixed press over the years and there is honestly so much misinformation out there about it! Whether you're reading this just to learn more about Paleo or you're thinking of transitioning over to following paleo, my biggest recommendation is that you go into this with an open mind! And if you're planning to transition to a paleo lifestyle, or even if you're just kind of interested in paleo as a 30 day challenge, then I recommend you start by following some of the amazing people in the paleo community to get some foodie inspo and see just HOW doable it is to eat paleo on a daily basis! Plus follow me of course - thepaleoballerina - Some of my recommendations of accounts to follow on IG/FB and their blogs are listed below at the end of this post! 

And yes, it really is a "Paleo community"! my brother always laughs at me when I say "paleo community" like it's a cult following or something. Don't get me wrong, some people take the whole thing WAY too far IMO but seriously for the most part it's just a bunch of people who believe that when it comes to nutrition and lifestyle choices, Paleo is the way to go!

When I first heard about paleo my response was "I could never do that. That sounds literally impossible and crazy. Like what the hell do you eat if you're not eating GRAINS? Only meat and veggies? I love eating a lot of meat, but that sounds impossible, plus I don't want to give up  my bread and pasta". But I kept it in my mind because there was this whole thing about eating as much meat as I wanted to, and I liked that.

About 6 months prior I had done the master cleanse and realized that there was a connection between my skin issues and the food I was eating. I had already given up my precious dairy after that first round of the master cleanse so I wasn't eating cheese, or creamy sauces, or ice cream, or any of the things I held so dear. I never even thought I could survive without CHEESE or ice cream. Now I was supposed to think about giving up BREAD AND PASTA also!? BLASPHEMY! 

But I did another round of the master cleanse and during an evening that I was particularly hungry while cleansing, I started writing out menus for when I could eat again and I decided to look into this whole paleo madness. My first search pulled up Elana's Pantry and a recipe for paleo banana bread and regular paleo bread, both made with almond flour. SAY WHAT!? Almond flour is a thing? That's bread!? I can eat bread on this paleo thing!? Maybe I can do this after all, I'm going to give it a try! Once I realized that I could make healthy paleo versions of the foods I loved and didn't want to part with I was sold. Easiest "diet" ever! That was in August of 2013 and I have been paleo ever since!

Now there are about a million different shades of paleo. I honeslty think that's why I love it so much and why it's become a sustainable way to eat for me while maintaining optimal health.

on paper the "rules" of paleo sound strict, but nutrition including paleo is NOT a one size fits all model so it's important to individualize your eating plan.

There are some people who take the rigidity too far, and there also is a real benefit to strictly following the "rules" for periods at a time - like a Whole 30. But more on that later.

Now all of the above is not to say that you wouldn't benefit from a super strict 100% paleo or Autoimmune Paleo (AIP) lifestyle, because absolutely anyone would benefit from it. But, for the average person living in the age of twitter, snapchat, and reality TV, eating 100% strict paleo 24/7 is virtually impossible, and for most there is really just no reason to sacrifice their happiness for stress of eating so strictly. But again if you're managing or healing a condition (like acne, pcos, psoriasis, diabetes, migraines, etc etc) then it might be not only beneficial to follow the rules rigidly, it might be almost necessary.

However way you spin it though Paleo is not meant to be dogmatic and it is not meant to control your life. EVER. It's about finding a way to make paleo work for YOU and your unique life. I really like to concentrate more on the individual when it comes to diet, and most importantly just eating REAL FOOD. Processed crap is just never acceptable. It's one thing to decide to have some raw organic cheese on occasion, or some sushi, it's another entirely to randomly chow down on a sleeve Oreos or a Big Mac! It's important to understand the WHY's behind each paleo "rule" and to learn the big difference between eating the cheese, or eating the Oreos...  Always weigh the pros and cons relative to you in your own life, but be smart about it. If not eating those Oreos is going to send your life into a tailspin where you're stressed and can't sleep, and obsessing, and going into that disordered eating mindset, then by all means, eat the damn Oreos.

I WOULD like to say though - please at least choose GLUTEN FREE OREOS! I only say this because gluten is a bitch and the effects of a gluten exposure can last for MONTHS. Like literally those damn gluten proteins can linger in there for 4 months after the fact. That's why for ME I will def have some froyo, GF or paleo cookies, rice, or cheese here and there, BUT if I have gluten it is always 100% BY ACCIDENT - we call this getting "glutened" and it's no fun.

Regardless, the extra stress of avoiding those GF Oreos is not worth it. Stress wreaks HAVOC on your hormones and those bad boys regulate how you store fat, your fertility, your mood and personality, and so much more! Just remember, this is meant to be a long term sustainable way to LIVE. Hence it being a paleo LIFESTYLE! It spans much further beyond just the food you put into your mouth. It is about choosing to live your life differently. Not some short term crash diet. Now that I've hopefully cleared up some of the common misconceptions and assumptions you may have had about paleo, I want to mention that with a focus on eating REAL FOOD there is an opportunity to really truly heal yourself naturally from the inside out.

Depending on what your background is, or the biggest challenge that you're working to overcome by transitioning to paleo, I typically recommend trying a Paleo Whole 30, AIP Whole 30, or just 30 days of strict paleo as an elimination diet to see how your body responds. With time you'll learn to listen to your body and know what you can and cannot tolerate. If you're not trying to "heal" anything specific then you can do a more moderate transition where you substitute foods you're already eating with paleo versions like paleo breads, paleo ice creams, etc. I'd like to mention that you can't heal years of damage in 30 days, but it's a great starting point to move forward from! For those of you who are new to paleo, let me do some basic explaining. 

There are a lot of AMAZING experts on these subjects and I would never attempt to live up to their standards of explination, but consider this the "Paleo for Dummies" or Spark Notes version of the Paleo lifestyle!

SO, WHAT IS THIS PALEO THING?

Paleo (pay-lee-oh) refers to the Paleolithic era and the age of our cavemen ancestors who were hunters and gatherers. Some refer to it as the caveman diet, primal diet, or an ancestral diet. Essentially the idea behind it is that our bodies evolved to digest the foods we were eating as hunter gatherers, before the agricultural revolution, and did not evolve to eat the shit that we do on the SAD (Standard American Diet).

Now that's great and all but again we ARE living in a modern world where McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's, and Taco Bell are on every corner and being healthy is considered picky, annoying, and unnecessary. Life just isn't as simple as it once was. But that doesn't mean that we can't learn and take a hint from our ancestors! Here is a super simplified version of what NOT to eat while following paleo:

Standard Paleo no no's:

• Dairy ( ice cream, cheese-including raw, yogurt, sour cream, froyo, milk etc)

• Grains (wheat, barley, spelt, buckwheat, quinoa, rice, amaranth etc)

• Legumes (chickpeas, peas, peanuts, beans - all varieties except green beans- etc)

• Soy (soy lecithin, soy milk, tofu, soybean oil, soy sauce, edamame, etc)

• Sugar (especially processed white or brown sugar)

• Fillers & Additives (any ingredient you can't pronounce or don't know what it is)

• Processed Foods (fast foods, cookies, crackers, anything "instant" etc)

• Damaged fats/oils (sunflower seed oil, cottonseed oil, canola oil, safflower oil etc)Click HERE for my favorite guide on oils! Print it and put it up in your kitchen!

AIP (Autoimmune Protocol for those with autoimmune conditions) Paleo no no's in addition to the list above:

• Eggs (specifically egg whites)

• Nuts & Seeds (sunbutter, almond butter, pistachios, cashews, walnuts, etc)

• Nightshades (tomatoes, potatoes, all varieties of peppers, eggplant etc)

• Alcohol (especially gluten containing alcohol like beer and drinks that are high in sugar)

Okay so those lists look a little intense I know, so let me show you what you CAN eat!

View fullsize

Also to take a closer look into the madness behind the government regulated food pyramid, read this awesome article HERE all about the BS that is fed to us about how we "should" eat!

SO this is really where the fun part begins and that's customizing this to fit you and your needs. Yes there is a huge list of foods that we come in contact with on a daily basis that we are NOT supposed to eat, but hey everyone's body works differently! SO after a 30 day elimination diet, you can start trying to introduce foods back into your diet and pay close attention to any detail big or small that happens within your body. You must eat that ONE food item at all three meals for at least one day. Did you get gassy? Did you get any pimples? Maybe you instantly felt a little yucky after eating that egg? These are all pretty good signs that whatever you reintroduced did not agree with your body! There's more to this but this here post is not the time or the place!

Now there's also the fact that your bodies are changing. As we eat for optimum health and heal our guts and hormones, a lot of times we can successfully reintroduce foods that we couldn't even imagine tolerating before! But this is also not always the case. For instance, I know that cannot tolerate dairy. But I do sometimes indulge with organic raw dairy or some ice cream, but I do so knowing it will lead to a breakout of some sort. I must admit though at this point if I just have a little dairy I don't always break out. The LONGER you follow this healthy lifestyle the more you body heals and becomes resilient! Also some people tolerate dairy just fine, so if it works for you then by all means, reintroduce it and keep healthy versions of it present in your diet! Again - QUALITY matters here!

While I can't tolerate industrial seed oils AT ALL, and mostly can't tolerate dairy or soy without some sort of reaction, I CAN tolerate some legumes like peas, and peanuts on occasion (though they make me bloat and give me gas if I eat too much) and I tolerate gluten free grains like rice just fine. However, I don't go out of my way to eat them. I do drink a Vegan gluten free superfood protein shake called Shakeology every day that sources it's protein from gluten free grains like rice, amaranth, pea, and quinoa, and my body loves it, I have had no issues whatsoever!! Quite the opposite in fact! I can even tolerate whey protein now without breaking out which is awesome! Hellooo cafe latte flavor!

Moving onnnnn....

Besides my shakeo, I don't consume gluten free grains unless I'm going out for a treat of sushi, the super occasional gluten free bread or bun, or a gluten free treat! Again, not things that should be eaten daily, but in moderation they are a-okay and for me my body does just fine with them. It has taken me a long time to figure out what I can and cannot tolerate, and honestly I'm still figuring it out! I experiment with new things and I have my own gray areas when it comes to AIP, because my body responds so well when I follow it, but I find it to be too restrictive for me to do consistently.

But I do mostly avoid nightshades, I try to extremely limit my nut and seed intake, and I go through periods of egg elimination as well. It's all about balance and paying close attention to what your body is telling you. The fine tuning comes in time, you just have to decide, and commit to taking that first step to get the ball rolling!

I do want to mention that eating something gluten free does NOT mean it's healthy! So many gluten free products on the shelves these days have so many gross ingredients in them that I pick it up and start to read it, then I almost instantly put it back down. Get in the habit of reading the ingredients of everything you eat. Know what you're putting into your body and don't leave it to chance! Of course concentrate on getting real, whole foods into every single meal, but almost everything comes in a package with a label these days, so don't be fooled by labels and false advertisements! Always always always read the ingredients for yourself!

It's so important to educate yourself on pesky hidden ingredients and especially always watch out for things like sugar, and damaged oils in packaged foods! Plus my biggest rule of thumb: if you can't pronounce it then don't eat it! Also follow me on social media, I post about my fav clean, healthy, paleo friendly brands and products all the time!

Speaking of following....

Now on to my favorite people in paleo without whom I would literally have none of the knowledge or experience that I have today! For direct links to my favorite paleo products please refer to my Products page!

Everything Paleo:

Diane Sanfilippo - My favorite and practical resource for ALL things paleo and also awesome motivation and business tips! I linked two of her books on my resources page (Practical Paleo, and 21 Day Sugar Detox) that are game changers, and if you're into podcasts she has TWO amazing ones, The Balanced Bites Podcast that she co-hosts with Liz Wolfe (listed below) and also the Build a Badass Business Podcast! Plus amazing recipes

Liz Wolfe aka Real Food Liz - This woman has taught me almost everything I know about natural skincare and she's made me laugh in the process! I secretly wish that I was her, or I would settle for being her best friend! Her Purely Primal Skincare Guide made me believe that I could heal myself naturally and I learned so much from that ebook! I also linked her book Eat the Yolks on my resource page, it's another must read for paleo and laughs!

Dr. Sarah Ballantyne aka The Paleo Mom - Author of The Paleo Approach (linked on the resource page) she is the AIP queen! I have learned SO MUCH about the science and WHY's behind what our bodies do and everything paleo. She explains everything in a tangible manor and has written amazing blog posts on the importance of sleep, exercise, and just the real nitty gritty stuff when it comes to the lifestyle side of paleo and especially AIP. So much amazing knowledge and info here! When I teach people about paleo I honestly link to her website the most often!

Robb Wolf - Yet another paleo guru who has and shares so much knowledge on his site!

Chris Kresser - Also like Robb and everyone else mentioned above, a total real food guru and he has an awesome podcast called Revolution Health Radio.

Mark's Daily Apple

Elana Amsterdam - Elana's Pantry 

Juli Bauer aka PaleOMG 

Stupid Easy Paleo

Nom Nom Paleo

Civilized Caveman

Against All Grain

Primal Palate

Paleo Parents

Paleo Porn

Paleo for Women

There are a ton more out there, and honestly too many for me to write descriptions for at the present moment. I will try to update this with more detailed information at a later date!

Still feeling overwhelmed or confused? I can help!

I do take 1:1 coaching clients if you're looking to work with a mentor and want a fully customized plan created just for you! You are 90% more likely to succeed with a coach or mentor by your side instead of trying to do it alone! I have created a program that is going to help you find that missing link and get your health back on track! If you are READY to take charge and see what a healthy lifestyle can do for you then click HERE to apply for a free 45min Discovery Call with me! I only take 5 clients PER MONTH and I want to make sure we will work well together so it is imperative that you complete the application even if you're my bestie! I will ALSO send you my free 5 day quick start meal plan once I receive your application!

Until next time! <3

xoxo - Harmony 

Build a BADASS Booty

Okay so I realize that it's kind of weird. I have been practically an absentee blogger yet here I am posting not one, but THREE different posts in one week!? Okay I repeat, where is Harmony and what did you do with the body??

I know guys, BUT it's like I said in my last post, sometimes I get like a fear or anxiety about blogging when I haven't blogged in awhile. Like the pressure is REALLY REAL YA'LL.

But fear is dumb and I'm SO not about that life! Anyway that is so not the point of this blog post! I'm here to talk about booties ya'll! Okay I'm here to talk about more than just booties but I mean not all of us were born with an internet busting Kim Kardashian Booty:

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Also, yes. You're not imagining it. That totally just happened here on my holistic blog!

I've always been more of a booty girl than a boobies girl. That's just my life, I'm pretty flat chested and I'm honestly totally okay with that now. PCOS made my boobs even smaller (thanks testosterone) which made me realize that it's okay. But for about 99% of my life I just wanted bigger boobs or even implants with smaller legs/hips/butt area! But alas THAT AIN'T ME! And I'm good with that now! Now just because a bottom half is "bigger" doesn't always mean that it's NICE. If you want a nice booty that takes work. PERIOD. Ballet works the booty like crazy ya'll. No joke. So I lucked out there in my earlier years I suppose. But then sitting on my ass day in and day out for years "helped" by booty grow in the not to nice kinda way. It was the 'none of my pants fit' kind of way. No one likes that way.

I think it really goes without saying at this point that I have had more than my fair share of body image issues. What can I say, being a girl growing up in the ballet world does wonders for body image issues and the psyche (please do note the sarcasm). I actually had this epiphany about 3 years ago when I realized that I would never actually be satisfied with my body. I knew I would never been thin enough for myself. I would never be fit enough for myself. I would always want more and always want to change things.

It was in that moment that I decided to just ACCEPT MYSELF THE WAY I AM.

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What an insane concept right!? No one actually does that! UHM yeah actually, they do. It's called making a decision and sticking to it. What's really amazing though is what happens once you make a decision like that. Because once I decided to accept me for me (SHE LIKES ME FOR MEEEEEE - name that tune!) I actually started seeing the biggest changes in my body! Or maybe it was all in my head all along, who knows! But suddenly I knew I was alright! In fact I was better than alright, I was AWESOME.

It has been a lot of hard work learning to love myself regardless of how I look and it's still something that comes up within me especially with the whole PCOS acne thing! I'm far from perfect but I try to accept myself the best that I can! SO I decided to put this whole I love myself - self love & acceptance thing to the ultimate test in the form of registering for my first (and probably last) BIKINI COMPETITION.

The Beachbody Classic. *insert I just shat myself face emoji*

Yep, I'm gonna be one of those crazy ass looking women with a dark ass tan and muscles strutting their stuff in a super skimpy bikini on stage in front of thousands of people.

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Okay so full disclosure and a few things I want to mention about this before you get all crazy and judgy on me:

1. I am not going to over train OR starve myself - my plan is very simple and healthy.
2. I may or may not get a spray tan. I honestly haven't decided yet. Regardless it will NOT be some crazy shade of orangy spray and I'd have to find one with ingredients that don't make me hurl.
3. I'm not trying to win anything or prove a point. I just want to challenge myself.
4. I'm doing all my training with AT HOME WORKOUTS. YEP! Details on this below.
5. I do NOT plan on bulking like crazy either. True Story.
6. I still have a lot of research to do! I know a lot but I'm not an expert on this yet! There's so much more to learn!
7. I DO have a super awesome plan in place with help from some of my fav celebrity trainers (Autumn Calabrese, Sagi Kalev, Chalene Johnson, & Leandro Carvalho) that makes me really excited!

After reading all that you might be asking yourself "why does she want to do this!? I don't get it!" The answer? I want to push myself towards a goal that scares the shit out of me. That's right. Doing this really freaks me out. The thought of walking on stage and posing for 15 seconds while flexing my muscles in a bikini is just like OMFG ABORT ABORT! Dancing in a tutu is one thing. This is another thing entirely and it scares me! This tells me that I need to do it.

It also has motivated me like crazy in my workouts! I'm already pushing so much harder and seeing results a lot faster because of it and I'm still a good 17 weeks out or so! I'm honestly so excited because I have come up with a killer plan and I want to share that with you and let you in on it! Well at least part of it. I can't reveal ALL my secrets right off the bat!

Right now this month (April 2016) I'm working on PiYo - mostly my live rounds and some of the at home program as well. I also have my last performance of the season this month so I don't want to overdo it! Then I'm moving onto Hammer & Chisel again but with a twist! I'm doing a hybrid by also adding in Brazilian Butt Lift which is a super fun dance based program!!! I'm going to continue with Paleo but also incorporating a twist when I get closer to competition time! Aaaaaaand I'm not just going to dish my whole plan to you since it's top secret, so that's all I'm going to share about it for now!! The rest of it is reserved for a select few to know! HINT: you could be one of the few!!! Keep reading! 

HERE'S WHERE THINGS GET EXCITING FOR YOU!

Okay so obvi I don't expect you to want to get as shredded as you need to for a bikini competition however, I do want you to challenge yourself. Summer and bikini season IS right around the corner and I totally want to help you feel confident in that swimsuit. It's not just about losing weight, I want you to FEEL confident as hell in your own skin! SO with that being said, I' decided to turn my master bikini plan into an online group for you to participate in with me each month until competition time. And this first month is going to be called BUILD A BADASS BOOTY starting on May 1st!

"But it's the beginning of April Harmony so why are you talking about this NOW!?" WELL I want to give you the chance to get the promotional price for these programs (you can get Brazilian Butt Lift fo freee yo! I'll tell you how) AND by registering for the group as an early bird (before April 15th) you're going to get SPECIAL and exclusive content from me plus extra gifts! I mean who doesn't like free stuff? I know I do! Plus guys I already have some spots filled. This groups capacity is going to max out fast and I want you to get your spot before they're all gone! I can only take on so many people! But YOU should be one of them!

I want to back up a second though. When it comes down to it, I don't think it matters even a little bit how you look in a bikini. What I DO KNOW that matters is how you FEEEEEEL on the inside and the outside about yourself. Making these good decisions for yourself, deciding to eat right and nourish yourself with nutrients along with exercising changes you not only physically, but mentally as well. Literally your body chemistry CHANGES. More than anything guys this is really a great opportunity for you to start getting healthy from the inside out and learn to treat yourself right.

I know everyone is in a different place. If you've already been healthy but just need an extra push then this group is for you. If you've hit a plateau in your journey then this is for you. If you want to really see results & you're ready to commit to YOU then this is for you. If you're ready to love yourself then this is for you. If you want to change how you feel in your body then this is for you. If you want to change your freaking life then this IS FOR YOU!!!! This group is for everyone from all walks of life! I so want to help you achieve your goals but there's only so much I can do without your participation! So let's do this thing together!

Did you know that over 70% of people who start a workout program never even finish it? Did you know that this percentage significantly DECREASES when you work with a coach? The real beauty of it is, I essentially work for free guys. You don't pay anything extra for my services as your coach. So why do it on your own when I can help you FO FREE!? Literally all you pay for are the products and I can guarantee you, they're worth every life changing cent. They actually come with a 30 day money back guarantee also. SO there' that. But seriously though. They're AMAZING and I don't see why you would even consider using that guarantee. I'll go a little more into the nitty gritty details below.

I'm going to be sharing all of my workout tips, tricks for success, exclusive Paleo quick start meal plans, my own tried and true methods, recipes, and seriously just SO MUCH MORE to get you feeling healthy! This is going to take place in this new free app for challenge groups! Cool right!? Enrollment just requires the purchase of a challenge pack through me! Like I mentioned H&C is on sale ya'll!! If there was ever a time to purchase it, now would be that time! I made this little video about what comes in a H&C challenge pack. It's short and here for your viewing pleasure! Remember that a challenge pack ALSO comes with 30 crazy nutrient dense SUPERFOOD MEALS in the form of Shakeology! 

Hammer & Chisel on it's own is a seriously amazing program but when you combine it with my favorite superfood dense nutritional shake Vegan Shakeololgy plus portion control containers and everything else I mentioned above, the possibilities are endless! Here's a quick video about it in case you're still on the fence! This video was a turn off for me personally. I honestly find them to be cheesy but I mean... It gives you a good idea of what the program is all about! I swear these workouts are flipping amazing!

I hope you enjoyed that video, and if not then that's fine too. Listen I don't want to make this post too long and you guys know me, I'm not into sales gimmicks or any BS like that. I do however, think this is a great opportunity for you to try some AMAZING products with my support and killer plan! Don't let fear or hesitation, or BS EXCUSES hold you back. You CAN do this! You are worth making the effort for! There's really no downside to joining us besides the fact that there will be some hard work involved. But nothing worth having comes easy! That's just life! Trust me you wouldn't want it if it was just handed to you!

SO on that note I'm going to sign off. I'm pooped. It's 1:53 AM but I was too damn excited about this group to go to bed without blogging about it FIRST! If you have any questions you know where to find me! You can always just comment below, you can email me (thepaleoballerina@gmail.com) OR you can find me on facebook, or Instagram (both are linked on this page).

Yeah okay my energy is officially gone, night night time!!!! Love you guys!

xoxo - Harmony 

Paleo Ballerina and a Happy New Year!

That's right, I'm giving myself a title now I am the Paleo Ballerina (patent pending). I feel like I just declared the 10 commandments or something. Okay that's a huge exaggeration... Anyway, it's not that big of a deal obviously it's really not even important, but I just wanted to put that out there. No one take my thing please. I'm in the process of building my "brand". I have a reason behind this 'title' and it has more meaning than the portrayal of the fact that I'm a ballet dancer who eats and follows a Paleo lifestyle. Body image in the ballet community is SUCH a huge and never ending issue, and I want to inspire dancers to EAT and nourish themselves while keeping their dancer figure. Okay more on that later... Moving on. Are there any graphic designers in the house? Does anyone want to design a little cavewoman ballerina for me or something? Because that would be AMAZEBALLS. Happy New Year everyone! This is officially my first post of the new year! I brought in the new year in a great way and on new years day I performed an awesome musical medley for a celebration at church with my brother with around 8-9 songs. It included hits like Shake It Off, All About That Base, Halo, Baby and Radioactive. We did a medley least year on the first as well (using different songs obviously), and it's a lot of fun and really the only time I sing in public all year. It was a fun start and a great way to spend some quality time with my brother. Hopefully we'll do it again next year even though I'm always embarrassed by the video after the fact... I also hope (I sure have a lot of 'hopes') to do a 2014 recap post at some point but I make no promises since I always think of posts I want to write but I never actually want to take the time to write them out. Shame on me. Don't get me wrong, I love blogging. I don't do it very often but I find it to be a great creative outlet as well as a great way to organize and tame the Tasmanian (Taz) devil who likes to make an appearance in my head occasionally. It's a great way to just get it all out which is why I typically find myself blogging most often in times of struggle or distress. But hey, here I am being happy saying Happy New Year to you!

So 2015. 5 is my favorite number. It's actually Ernest's favorite number also. SO it goes without saying that this year should really be stellar for both of us and I hope it's great for everyone else too! We had wonderful holidays filled with a lot of family and friends. I really am blessed to be surrounded by so many great people in my life. Sure I take them for granted often but that doesn't mean I love them any less, this whole appreciation thing is a process but I try to look at the bright side and appreciate as many things as possible every single day!

Okay so I had about two weeks off from dance which I was a bit worried about but I think it was good. I was so super productive around the house with all my down time and I almost completed my bathroom remodel that I've been working on for about a year. Now it goes without saying that I haven't worked on it consistently since it's a small half bath and I don't think there are even that many things I could do to draw a reno out THAT long. Anyway it's my baby, my child, my creation and I'm so proud of it. This is yet another thing I plan to write a full blown post about once I have FULLY completed it. I don't want to post it before I'm 100% done because I may never fully finish if I do that. My pride is already making me not want to put the finishing touches on it... Partially because whenever I get to a new step with this reno I get apprehensive... Anyway more on that when I write my post bathroom renovation post!

Ballet has started back up this week and I had some of my toughest weeks ever at my desk job. I REALLY need to make a career shift this year. IDEALLY I'd like to get out of the normal desk job sector and move over to dance or something related (maybe even nutrition? NTP?) permanently. MAYBE THIS WILL BE THE YEAR FOR THAT. I don't know for sure, but life reveals itself as you go and we just gotta keep rolling with the punches. I'm planning to audition for a few small companies in the coming months and I might even audition for some summer programs that take old people (up to 25 while most only take up to 18) like me. That would be crazy... To leave my job for awhile and go somewhere to dance for the summer... I haven't done that since I was 16 or something. Again, I don't know-these are just options and things I'm thinking about. I'm always open to new things and I don't want to limit myself within reason. Plus I figure that if it's meant to be then it will happen. I of course have to take the steps to make it a possibility, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.

As for this new year and new resolutions.... I KIND OF made 1 resolution. But not really. I don't like limiting myself to resolutions. I think it's amazing to want to grow and to be inspired and to want better for yourself but I feel like there's almost too much pressure and disappointment if you "fail" OR if you resolve to do things or make changes that aren't really sustainable, OR to make changes to yourself that can't really be measured. Like "I want to be a better person". Okay that's great. How are you going to do that? And better yet, how the hell are you going to keep track of that? What are your actions steps to make that an attainable and measurable goal? Now as a rule in life we must all grow and evolve (unless you're Benjamin Button or Peter Pan I suppose) and along with that comes setting goals and trying our very best to better ourselves. I'm 100% for this, I just think it's important to make your goals ATTAINABLE and TANGIBLE. Otherwise, you become too comfortable with failure and letting yourself just not follow through with commitments you make. I've been reading a lot of things recently that say "you're worth it" and I couldn't agree more. You're worth the effort of sticking to the commitments you make to yourself. You're worth doing everything in your power to be the best you. Ya catch my drift? We are all worth it, no one life is more valuable than another. We are all living beings. Now onto my sorta resolution for 2015...

I've committed to give the good ol Paleo Autoimmune Protocol (AIP) a shot for 30 days. I started on Monday the 5th partially because on the first I was coming off a hard night of New Year's Eve drinking and didn't feel it was a great way to start this, but also because I wanted to start it at the beginning of the week, so I did! For those of you that don't know (probably most of you) AIP is specifically geared to eliminate all typical gut irritating foods that can cause an immune response. If you want more info on AIP and just autoimmune diseases in general then go to thepaleomom.com and/or autoimmune-paleo.com. Here is a quick list of restricted foods on AIP just to give you an idea:

Dairy, Soy, Legumes (including peanuts), Grains, Refined Sugars, Eggs, Nuts, Seeds, Nightshades(including seasonings), Industrial Seed Oils, Alcohol, NSAID's, Food Additives, etc.

There's of course a lot more to it but you should head on over to those sites I mentioned above if you want more info on it. I haven't actually been diagnosed with an autoimmune condition but with a few conditions I do have TYPICALLY being autoimmune in nature I am giving this a try. I'm treating it more like an elimination diet which it is also referred to as, and I'm hoping I might see and feel some results. There are of course reintroduction instructions but some food may never really be introduced without consequence for some people. I am also going to a Naturopath or Functional Medicine Doctor on Monday to get some testing done to try and get to the bottom of somethings I've been dealing with. If you want more specific info on what I've got going on medically you can PM me. I'm not comfortable airing out all my dirty laundry on the internet, at least not as of right now- maybe some day!

Anyway Today is day 5 (I wrote this a week ago so I'm actually on day 12 now) and I'm feeling great! It has been rough, especially the first few days coming off of eating a lot of treats and drinking more often than usual during celebrations over the holidays there has been some detoxing for sure. I know every day will be different, but today I'm feeling honeymoon-y and I'm loving it (ew McDonald's why did you have to ruin that phrase?). I have eaten a butt ton of fish and steak. Also a lot of salads. If I'm being completely honest I did not prep for this very well but coming off of normal Paleo makes it not the biggest adjustment ever, but for me a big adjustment nonetheless since I relied heavily on nut and seed butters plus I love a lot of nightshade veggies. Ernest bought me so much food to make this easier on me and more possible so we have quite a lot of groceries at the moment but no actual meal plan in place. It's working out just fine though and I'm grateful for his support. On the other hand, Practical Paleo by Diane Sanfilippo (best paleo book ever btw - Liz Wolfe calls it the Paleo Bible... Because it pretty much is) has an amazing 30 day meal plan - well okay there are like 20 different meal plans to accommodate ALL DIFFERENT ISSUES. How awesome is that? There is an AIP meal plan that I want to use for the coming weeks. I might end up extending this whole thing longer than 30 days (like 60 or 90) depending on what goes down on Monday and how I feel after the 30. So that meal plan might be used 100% during the next 30 days, we'll just have to wait and see. It should be an interesting journey. I've been looking at the 'whole 30' (another 30 day paleo program) website a lot since this is essentially the same thing and I've been following the daily "what should I expect" so I can have an idea of what might be to come. My experience hasn't really matched up thus far but it's interesting and entertaining nonetheless! I've been eating A LOT of fruits and veggies. As I hinted at above, my husband has been BEYOND supportive and helpful despite my detoxing bitchiness and I love him for it. He's cooked for me, packed lunches for me, and even grocery shopped for me. He's Seriously the best. Plus I don't think I'm the only one who get's grumpy while detoxing right? I believe it's a normal part of the adjustment period.... At least that's what I tell myself...

Horizons horizons, new horizons. OH! I got caught up on Downton Abbey which is super exciting- all thanks to my Amazon Prime membership!!! Woohoo now I just can't wait to watch 5th season. Okay I'll stop. But it's a great show to watch while also doing yoga or stretching or even cleaning in my case. I cleaned a lot over the holidays(which I know I already said) and since the holidays as well. I love it when my home is clean. I even took down ALL of our Christmas decorations on 1/3/15. I am on top of my game this year. Normally I'm terrible with that kinda stuff. But here's to new year's and turning over new leaves, and being okay with possibly turning that leaf right back over to where it originally started sometimes. Change doesn't happen over night after all. Although in someways it totally does.

On that note I bid you addue! Or However the hell you spell that... You know what I mean though, just think of the Sound of Music and have a great weekend! I'm starting it off by attempting to make the Urban Poser's Tomato-less "Marinara" Sauce (it was delicious) and chillin with my home girls. Tomorrow I have an audition and I'm going to Danielle Walker from Against All Grain's book signing event in Falls Church VA!! SO EXCITED! I feel like I'm meeting a Paleo celebrity... HAHA lame sauce I know.

xoxo -Harmony

ALSO I want to give credit where credit is due for the "featured image" on this post, it's actually a really awesome and touching story... Please read more about the story behind that picture HERE.

The Struggle is Real

Look at the little girl in this picture. Why is she crying? She's doing ballet and little girls LOVE ballet, right!? Poor little thing shouldn't be crying... To anyone who is not a dancer this photo may make you laugh as it does me, but there is so much more freaking meaning behind this to me, and anyone else who is a dancer GETS what I mean... "The Struggle is Real" I'm sure most of you have heard this phrase over the course of the past year. It's meant to poke fun at us people living in a first world country complaining about things like our makeup or hair looking bad while some people have real problems and struggles. Take for example people who don't know when or where their next meal will come from. Or hm I dunno WAR that is actually taking place right outside people's windows... Crazy siege's in Australia. Just casual every day stuff. *Please note my sarcasm* However, to add to our nations self absorption and further feed the first world problems frenzy I am here to yet again ironically use the saying the struggle is real because damn it despite my life being pretty damn good, I feel a struggle.

Things have been weird recently. I feel different than I ever have before, I'm dancing again, but not teaching, I'm working at a job that I feel remarkably indifferent about, and I just feel.... WEIRD. I had a great relaxing weekend with my husband who is sick, we stayed in and watched TV... Like  A LOT of TV. Got caught up on all the shows we watch together, including some crazy mid season finale's and it was nice to relax and unwind after all the recent mayhem. Of course Ernest was sick so it wasn't quite as enjoyable for him but I digress...

THEN here comes Monday. Freaking Monday. I was actually pretty chipper in the morning, I listened to some good radio (The Kane Show) on the way to work that had me laughing despite the terrible traffic and over 1hr long drive. I got a lot of work done and although work is work it was actually okay. I mean it wasn't a horrible day or anything, so really no complaints there. I think I sort of have a coping mechanism when it comes to work, I like to BLUR details in my memory so I just have a faint glow of a memory when it comes to the days or weeks past. SO who knows, maybe if I had been writing this yesterday it would be different. We'll just never know.

Moving on... I left early of course to get to dance class. On the dance menu yesterday was Modern for an hour (Graham style) then ballet technique with floor exercises and stretching at the end of class (another 2.5 hrs). I don't know if it's because I bummed around this weekend or what but man, I felt off in class. Hence the photo. It was rough. Any dancer can understand having these types of days. No matter how much confidence I felt I had gained over the past 5 years without dance all it took was an experienced dancer to come into class that made the teacher BEAM (I mean seriously she smiled from ear to ear while this girl did the combination across the floor) while watching her to make me feel like a lump of turd again. It's so tough, this industry. I'm trying to get back and obviously I realize that I'm out of shape and have a long way to go but I find myself questioning so much at times like these. The self doubt creeps back in, I wonder if I will ever have the "quality" that this other woman does. I know she and I are different and I'm different but what if my version is never going to be coveted. I'm embarrassed to even admit just how much this got me down. Shame on me really. To let something so small and insignificant affect me so much. I'm perfectly aware that there are amazing dancers out there, I just don't see them in class on a regular basis. I refuse to take steps backwards and revert to my old self conscious self. I just find myself wondering if the "things" I need to change in my technique are things that I'll be able to change. It's like telling a runner who has run the same way their whole life to run differently. Or maybe it's not. I'm not a runner.

As a dancer we put a lot of trust into our teachers and dance mentors. We need people to take a chance on us and correct us but what if they're steering us in the wrong direction? OR conversely, what if the direction they send you in or just making a suggested change or correction from a teacher changes everything. After an initial first impression (seeing a dancer dance for the first time) wears off they see how incredibly normal and average we are, don't they? Maybe I need to teach again...

Okay... I think I need to stop now and switch gears. Let me just say that I DO NOT like Kanye West... In fact typically when I think of Kanye I think about this:

It's pretty much one of my favorite things ever and always makes me at least smile if not chuckle. The reason I bring up Kanye is because I saw this earlier today and really liked it:

Yep, Kanye got something right in his lyrics.... It's common sense isn't it? Obviously there is only one of me, and only one of you, and in this case OF COURSE there are literally millions of people who are better at ballet than me. I mean we all technically KNOW this but the problem is believing it's okay to not be the best and not letting life and comparing yourself to others get you down... I know, I know... First world problems. I just danced the freaking sugar plum fairy and now here I am boo hooing that someone better than me came to class and now I feel bad about myself. Any girl in that school would've killed to perform that role. I'm such a freaking brat sometimes. Part of the problem I suppose is that even while dancing sugar plum I felt unworthy of it. Hopefully class today will go better, then I'll be happy again. It's just that easy. Good class = good mood. Bad class = bad mood until a better class experience is achieved. No wonder I was so depressed in high school!

Things will get better and I'll figure my life out, hey at least I'm trying. I never want to look back and think I didn't do everything I could to try and make it happen. I'm trying, we'll see how this all plays out.

xoxo - Harmony

Cracking nuts and toes

Amidst my schedule that has been unbelievably busy recently I seem to have found myself with some free time. I've been heavily immersed in the world of ballet. I'm currently at a dress rehearsal for a show that I may or may not be dancing in. This is what we in the ballet call being an understudy. I already danced two performances last weekend but alas here I am again this weekend saying 'to dance or not to dance, that is the question.' It's amazing though the magic that happens in a theater and on a stage. When all the pieces come together the result is something that cannot be simply explained, it must be experienced.

Okay let me back up a little bit. Last time I posted was probably a good 2-3 weeks ago and I was just done with my first week of getting back into ballet classes. Well an amazing opportunity was presented to me after an injury occurred at a studio I took class at and here I am, having done two performances as their sugar plum fairy. I'm still only about 3 weeks into taking classes and the grand pas is HARD. Plus I'm in shock that this actually happened at all. I never imagined landing a role period let alone one line this... And so soon. That coupled with a few other complications and circumstances has my body begging for mercy. I had to learn the entire pas -a version I had never even seen before- in a week and be able to perform it. Talk about pressure... Then from crazy blisters, to dead point shoes, randomly swollen feet, uncomfortable nude leotards, stage makeup, brand new tights that ripped on stage and a slew of other factors this whole experience has been a whirlwind.

I've met a lot of great people, pushed myself in ways I did not foresee, and it's been great. It really has. There's been plenty of drama and discomfort that's gone along with all of it but I feel blessed. I had one performance that felt like a train wreak in which my my shoes died during the pas, and my tights literally caught on my partners costume on stage and ripped a big hole in my butt. But more importantly I felt incomplete, defeated, and disappointed in myself after the fact. I didn't feel elated, or even a little bit happy for having performed and survived. I knew I could do better which was frustrating but more importantly I also knew that I hadn't done well. But that second performance was magic.

Everything came together on stage. It still wasn't anywhere near perfect but with how out of shape I am, I was never expecting perfection. All things considered, this time I felt it. I felt the happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of accomplishment that I have been accustomed to feeling after performing. That feeling is what I'm doing all of this for. Life is a funny thing, it reveals its meaning to you when you least expect it.

Okay well I need to be ready to dance just in case so I should probably do that. Did I mention that this show is sold out?? Crazy right!? We'll see what happens, I'm fine whatever way this goes. My body would be relieved if I didn't have to dance, that's for sure... Well until next time...

Xoxo - Harmony

Midnight Ramblings

I tend to write posts and let them sit for a few days before I read them over again and actually post them. I wrote this one on Sunday evening... As will be obvious from the first sentence. I can hardly call this midnight, since it's literally only 10:30pm on this Sunday evening but nonetheless I will now begin to ramble. After watching some Gilmore Girls and falling asleep, then waking back up to turn it off and 'officially' go to bed almost an hour ago my mind is racing  It's amazing how you can just fall asleep during an activity but then when you actually try to go to bed it can be futile. In this case I find myself going over the ballet classes I've taken the past two Saturdays. Now to be fair I don't feel HORRIBLE about them. I mean I haven't consistently danced since the end of 2008 or early 2009. YEP 2009. That's almost 6 freaking years ago. So with that in mind I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. And I mean thank God I do bikram yoga, because otherwise I don't think this whole trying to get back into dance thing would even be possible.

Bikram has allowed me to regain flexibility, strength, mental discipline, and although I haven't fully regained all of it, and ballet is an entirely different beast of it's own, it's helped this process.

Yet I still find myself tossing and turning, going over the parts in class where I particularly felt inadequate. I don't know why, but I swear what I'm struggling the most with in these classes is my brain. As a ballet teacher I always tell my students that they need to know the combinations because otherwise you can't work on refining the steps or remembering corrections because you're too caught up just trying to keep up with the combination. Which is true. But I now find myself being that person who cannot remember the combinations. I have never been this person. In the past, whatever I physically lacked, I made up for with a good mind, I could pick up and remember combinations for days like it was nothing.

Needless to say I am frustrated as hell with myself on this. How can I get my brain to catch up to my body? And I'll be damned if in the next class I take a get stumped by another petite allegro (small jumping) combination. I mean seriously. Yes, I've never been strong in the petite allegro variety but SHEESH it's never been this rough. I see even just as I write all of this out that I'm weighing far too heavily on comparing this 24 year old out of practice version of me to the 18 year old 'best shape I've been in' dancer version of me who had been taking ballet class 4 hours a day 6 days a week for practically 6 years straight, if not longer.

But how can I not do that? I NEED to push myself. I can't settle for just being okay. If there's anything I took away from all of the "Academic Ballet Courses" I took at Kirov it's the line "Ballet does not stand mediocrity." I cannot remember who the hell said it but I seriously have never heard a truer statement, and I knew it as soon as I heard it. Mediocrity just has no place in ballet. No one wants to watch that. Especially no one wants to pay to see that, and sure as hell no one is going to pay you to dance poorly or even just 'okay'. You can barely get paid to dance amazingly... SO yeah.

Why I am taking myself back down this rabbit hole than you may ask? The only word that comes to mind is: PASSION.

I seriously just love it. I don't know why, I can't explain it, there will probably always be at least a small part of me that dreads ballet class and the uncertainty of how my body will perform that day, but I do love it. Being a professional ballet dancer in a ballet company (which by the way I'm sure means nothing to people in the 'normal' world) is a hard life. I have friends who are in it and beyond talented who struggle with their directors just not giving them the chances they deserve. It's a crazy world where people don't eat and they abuse their bodies day in and day out. But there's an insane part of me that just wants a small taste of it.

I don't know if my brain will start to cooperate. I don't know if my body will cooperate. But I couldn't sit in bed tossing and turning going over the parts in class I WISH I had done better in. It gives me anxiety, and to be honest, there is not one damn thing I can do about it right now from my bed.

I needed this outlet, so thank you for existing. Thoughts can haunt us, and drown us sometimes. Sometimes we just need some gratification and acknowledgement and writing can somehow provide that. I actually had a good bikram class just this morning, the teacher even asked me to demonstrate a posture (floor bow) to my surprise. I felt very humbled and honored - I've seen people be called out for demonstrations countless times, and I've always wished to be that person. I also never really imagined that I would be, I am the type of person who needs interaction and validation, as I believe we all do in different ways. I may be more secure with myself in some ways but in others I still lack the self assurance to know how I am doing beyond- "wow, that was really shitty."

I have to put the classes behind me and move forward. The next classes will be even better. Bikram and ballet alike. I actually have an idea of a plan for how to make this ballet thing work... It's still a rough draft but maybe I'll share it at some point if it turns out to be doable (I HOPE!).

There is so much more to life than all this little self centered petty stuff I wrote about above. I needed to get my thoughts out and I did, which I can appreciate  but there is so much more to my life than this here. Last weekend for instance, we celebrated my dear sister in law's birthday on Sunday by going to a winery. It was a nice time, my brother and I baked her a blueberry tart thingy from her pinterest, then on her actual birthday (Monday) we went to a great restaurant that caters to people with food allergies. They had a lot of dairy free and gluten free options on the menu which were great. I also made her this awesome paleo coconut cream pie from Living Healthy with Chocolate that I also made last year. Since it was so well received, I decided to give it a repeat appearance this year. Then yesterday after hanging out in Poolesville at the ballet studio for most of the day, I stopped by my brother and sister in law's house (the same one mentioned above - Johanna) and we ate pie, and talked. Later we made this AMAZING soup that popped up on my facebook newsfeed and went to a game night. I played a whole lot of the game Telestrations and literally laughed until my stomach hurt. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed THAT hard, and it was awesome. Lastly on this here Sunday I met Johanna for yoga, then we met some more friends at an adorable restaurant in Alexandria for a late brunch which was also great. I eventually made my way home to a lazy evening with my husband and you know this rest about this evening.

That's it. That's all I have for today and this weekend and everything else. I hope I've sufficiently emptied out my brain enough for sleep. I'm excited for lyrical class tomorrow evening, it should be a lot of fun. I'm hoping to hang out afterwards and put my pointe shoes back on. Oh yeah that's another thing. No longer having ballet callouses sucks... Pointe shoes really hurt again. And they haven't since I was maybe 11? It's like I ran backwards for miles or something. But it's OKAY. I'll get there, thank God (and the Secret) for the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction. I feel so much better right now, you have no idea.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

xo - Harmony

Strap on your pointe shoes - we're going to town

It's a very crisp autumn morning here in Northern VA. It's becoming that time of year when it's really just quite chilly outside. Ya just can't get away with wearing no jacket anymore and in other words.... Winter is Coming. That last sentence will have extra meaning for anyone who watches Game of Thrones. Speaking of watching things, Gilmore Girls is on Netflix! Now I must tell the truth, I already own all of the seasons of Gilmore Girls... I don't know what it is but I've always loved the show and I've seen most of the full seasons at least 2-3 if not 4 times already. But last week I found myself with a lack of TV to watch... That is of course besides the show's I watch with my husband that are sitting in my hulu queue waiting for the day we will sit down and watch them (we watched about 3 last night). With this is in mind, I began watching Gilmore Girls yet again from the very beginning.

I'm now on the first episode of season 2.. Yippee! I have a problem.... But I'm okay with it. Again, hubby does not understand my as he calls it "fascination" with the show. Meh, I dunno. I just like it...?!

Moving on...

Last weekend was halloween, and it was a blast! I of course had to work on the day of, but since it was casual Friday I was able to dress up with some of my coworkers. We were Toddlers in Tiaras(see pictures below). We then went to happy hour after work and called it a night. On Saturday I went to a bar crawl- again as a toddler in a tiara- with my friend Lizz and some of her close friends who are a really fun group of people. It was so much FUN! I used to get REALLY nervous in new social situations or hanging out with friends of friends who I don't really know but there was none of that this time. I think I've become a much calmer and secure person as of late and I love it. I don't care AS much what people think of me and it's liberating. Halloween was good times.

Here is were this update (non halloween related) gets interesting though... Last week on Monday I took my first lyrical dance class really ever.... I've taken very sporadic jazz classes in the past (mostly at ballet summer programs) and although it's very similar to lyrical I'm told they're different. But it was a lot of fun and I can't wait to go back weekly... Lizz posted a video of it on facebook. I swear she and I are like friendship soul mates. I really hope we can keep a good friendship now that we no longer work together. I guess you just never know how things will turn out. I surely didn't expect to make such great friends at my current job, but they really are great. Okay back to the video... The video is not my best dancing, but considering my "out of shape" state, I'm pretty pleased with it. That and oh yeah, i'm a ballet dancer, not a jazz or lyrical dancer. But it was fun!

THEN on Saturday I took adult ballet class locally at Virginia Ballet and ran into my high school math teacher... Small world right!? Okay I took class, it was fun but sheesh I'm out of shape. Even so, the other adults in the class made it quite clear that they were following my lead as is quite customary in these adult type classes. They usually consist of either first time dancers or older women (40's-60's) who just wanna dance! Side Note: I'm not saying that women in their 40's-60's are old, but as far as ballet dancers goes it's an older age group. It's awesome for them, it's not really what I need right now but I still enjoy it as long as I don't upset anyone in the process. It's a great studio and I hope they hire me to sub some classes for them. I did talk to them about it so fingers crossed!

Then this week I had probably the best bikram class that I've had in awhile AND I subbed ballet, tech, jazz, lyrical, crazy hybrid classes at a studio Lizz hooked me up with locally: CDC. ALSO a lot of fun. I love the lack of pressure and relaxed setting, makes the whole teaching process a lot more enjoyable. But at the same time frustrating. Anyway, today is Saturday. I woke up at 7:30 all on my own, and I'm about to drive an hour out for a ballet class. I am a little worried since this is a regular advanced ballet class and not an adults intermediate class. My body isn't REALLY ready for this but I just have to push it. Especially my petite allegro, for some reason my brain has been having trouble understanding it again. I swear it's more of a mental than a physical issue. But I will get there!

Right now the plan is to take lyrical on Mondays, do bikram the rest of the week, and do ballet on Saturdays, schedule permitting. I wish that said I was going to take ballet class every day but I just don't know how to make it work. It is SO expensive and lets be real, the classes are usually too relax for my purposes when you get to an adult level. I can take classes in Poolesville (although it's far out) at least weekly but I wish that was daily... I could try one day to leave work at 2:30 to get there but I worry it'll be pushing my luck in more ways than one. Technically I work a 9-5 although my schedule generally runs more of an 7:30-3:30 kinda thing. I'd literally have to get into work at 6:30am in order to leave at 2:30 and possibly make the 3:30 class in MD. That plus I'd have to deal with glares from everyone in the office, and their moms. But I'm going to see what I can do. I really need class 6 days a week to get back myself. I don't mind making the time commitment.

Right now I'm a bit torn. It feels great to be back in the dance saddle. I still feel nervous and never know what to expect from my body today but I'm trying. The schedule is far from perfect but it's better than nothing! Maybe when the new year rolls around I'll try to make some more changes.... Change, change, change.

Life is fluid, people move, grow, evolve, CHANGE. And that's a good thing right? If we were stagnant and unchanging I might be a bit worried. But change can be hard to accept also. Like when friends move away, or friends you've made at a job change career paths, or you make drastic changes to your life like adopting a healthy lifestyle, or having a baby... Change happens, it's inevitable, and it's good. I say bring it on bitches! I sure hope this ballet class goes well today. The studio I'm going to today knew me back in my ballet prime. I'm so grateful to be able to take classes there, but I'm also nervous. Now i'm about 6 years older, and 6 more years out of practice and shape... It's going to be embarrassing, I know that much. But I hope it's okay and I don't die! Just my last thoughts for the morning. Now I need to leave to make sure I get there on time to actually take class!

Much love as always!

Harmony

Live, Laugh, Love.

Okay I wrote this post now LAST Thursday.... Didn't realize that I hadn't actually posted it... Sheesh! I have a few different thoughts swirling through my brain today, so I figured with this rare slowish day here at work it was high time to write another blog post.. I would've written one (you like how I'm pretending to actually have readers that I have to hold myself accountable to? AH the humor) last weekend but with the beautiful wedding I was a part of I just did not have the time! Yet here we are, it's a Thursday already and the weekend is practically here all over again. Hard to believe that just a week ago we were heading to Stafford for the wedding rehearsal and I was able to see my lovely friend who lives in Cali again. The wedding last weekend was beautiful and magical and I had a wonderful time. The whole bridal party was a really great group of people so it made for good company and happy times. There were of course also many tears (of joy), and just some moments too adorable to explain. Much fun was had by all! Of course I was DD so some may have had a little extra fun... But below are just some of the many pics from the photobooth! It was hard to choose just a few, so many of them are amazing!

Okay that's enough shenanigans, I think you get the idea. It really was a beautiful wedding. With all of the beautiful people in these pictures and seeing so much love coming together in one place I've been thinking a lot about this life that we live, the people in it and just how damn lucky I am.

It's funny because I had the intention of writing a post about how grateful I am for all of my friends and family and the amazing people in my life and lo and behold it seems to be a trend going around. An attitude of gratitude is how I try to life my life. Just like everyone else I of course become pissy and ungrateful. I take for granted the amazingness that is my life and complain about things. But this does no one any good. I am the owner of my fate. This is MY life after all and if I'm not responsible for it's success then who the hell is? I mean sure okay I have a belief in a higher power and I do believe that everything happens for a reason and all that. But me, my essence, my being, how I react to what happens in my life- that's all on ME. And it's true for you too my readers. Take your life and your fate into your own hands and just do your very best with it.

If you want to be fit, than exercise. Hey you may never be a marathon runner, or a buff ass figure model, but work with what you have and try your best. If you want to be a yoga competitor or a ballet dancer (sound familiar?) than freaking take classes! You might fail, hell you may fall flat on your ass, but you'll never know if you don't TRY.

I'm sorry for going off on a ranty tangent yet again but I really want to get this point across: you have the power to shape your life. Your life belongs to no one else but YOU. SO TAKE CONTROL OF IT DAMN IT!

Alright I'm putting the soapbox away... I love my friends and my family. Sure, things aren't always perfect and i'm not going to feel blessed everyday but with an attitude of gratitude, I can be a happier me. No matter the circumstance. I leave you with this quote from The Secret by Rhonda Byrne:

"Begin your day by feeling grateful. Be grateful for the bed you just slept in, the roof over your head, the carpet or floor under your feet, the running water, the soap, your shower, your toothbrush, your clothes, your shoes, the refrigerator that keeps your food cold, the car that you drive, your job, your friends. Be grateful for the stores that make it so easy to buy the things you need, the restaurants, the utilities, services, and electrical appliances that make your life effortless. Be grateful for the magazines and the books that you read. Be grateful for the chair that you sit on, and the pavement that you walk on. Be grateful for the weather, the sun, the sky, the birds, the trees, the grass, the rain, and the flowers.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Love and kisses,

Harmony