Follow the Yellow Brick Road

I have a problem, my blog readers and followers... And the problem is that the times I typically feel the most inspired to write and post for this blog are during the hours I am at work. Now, why is that a problem you ask? The main reason that's a problem is because a blog is considered "social media" and despite the fact that these sites aren't blocked on my companies network we're still not supposed to go on them. To be fair, for my more extensive posts I sometimes spend all day, like almost 7 hours working on them (yeah, you read that right. And you're welcome). From adding pictures, to proof reading, to the actual writing process and everything in between it can be very time consuming. Even the most basic posts (of which I pretty much have none) end up taking well over an hour because I keep adding things when I read it back. I'd say about 99% of the time I just sit down and start typing without even knowing what I'm going to say. Then even after I've written everything I typically don't even know half of what I've said, but I swear writing just feels amazing and I love to  let the thoughts flow onto digital paper. I of course read and reread all of my posts before they are actually published but it's hard to decide that a post is ever "finished". I have one post that has been sitting in limbo for 3 MONTHS. But I refuse to let it die so I'll finish and post it at some point. It's saved on my other laptop... ANYWAY even after all the reading and rereading and editing and rewriting, I usually want to make even more changes after publishing when I read them again months or weeks later. You can see why it's a problem when I get inspired to write at work now right? Speaking of work, I've been super productive at work this week. I've sewn a pair of pointe shoes, I've watched countless ballet videos on youtube for inspiration and "research", I've looked up and downloaded performance music, I've researched becoming a beach body coach, I've planned my husbands birthday dinner including looking up recipes etc, AND I'm now sitting here writing a blog post and it's only Wednesday.

Please keep in mind that I'm an Accounting Assistant for a Government Contracting Company... So essentially I'm terrible at my job because I do other stuff all day instead of my actual job. That's not to say that I'm incapable of doing my job, because I do get it done and I get it done well but I'm a freaking passionate and creative person! I may not be passionate about accounting, or anything remotely related to the work I am doing (or really not doing) for the time being, but in general I am passionate and can't nobody stop this train!

Here's a random question for you... Have you heard of Bentinho Massaro?

He talks a lot about passion. I'm pretty sure that his words can inspire almost anyone. For the sake of honesty and transparency I'll admit that I'm pretty easily inspired. I get excited by things super quickly and damn it I dream big! He has about a million videos (that's an exaggeration) on youtube, and while they may not all speak to you, I love having it on in the background during my day. Even the same video over and over, I catch new things every time. Sometimes I hear entirely new things in the same videos and I wonder what the hell I was doing during that part last time that I missed it entirely? We all have needs, and honestly those needs can change daily, or even multiple times a day. The universe draws us to different things, and if we trust it and let it guide us we can have those needs fulfilled everyday. Just like hearing parts of an old video I never heard before. Finding these videos was one of those things for me. I was needing something. I didn't even know that I needed something but I did. I found what I needed in myself through his words: POSITIVITY. I literally felt my energy perk up like I hadn't in a few months. At that moment I realized that I had disconnected from my positive vibrations and had reverted to my negative thoughts for the past few months now. The slip happened so gradually, so randomly, and so naturally that I didn't even think twice about it or realize that it had happened. Old habits die hard. The fact that I put myself back into the setting where I used to be a little negative nancy (the ballet world) obviously made this transition feel even more natural. But  no more!

So many people in this world are negative. Please, never doubt or downplay the power of your thoughts and feelings. You are creating your own reality every second of every day. Make a conscious choice to lead yourself where you want to be with your thoughts. No one is more powerful over your life than you are right this second and every future second in your life. Please take a minute right now to be grateful. Be grateful that we are living in a time where infinite knowledge can be discovered and shared as long as you're searching for it. Never be afraid to learn more or keep growing, we are made to evolve and grow into ever blossoming beautiful beings. Don't stunt that growth with negativity or self doubt. The only thing negativity breeds is more negativity. Have you ever noticed that? All it takes is that one little negative thought parasite to take root and before you know it your entire mind is infested. It happens to all of us and it's OKAY. It is OKAY to be there right now. Every experience in this life is a learning experience if you choose to look at it that way. Use it as an opportunity to grow. Mistakes, screw ups, victories, accomplishments, these are all growing opportunities. At some point something is going to come and knock you over the head and give you the opportunity to kill your negativity infestation. The key is to be open to receiving information. It can come from any source, and possibly even the most unexpected source. DON'T IGNORE THE UNIVERSE! You must be willing and open to new things, to change, to doing what may feel unnatural or uncomfortable at first but will become your own personal norm and bliss. We all have our own unique paths so don't doubt or regret any part of yours because your path is your life and without it you would not be you. Follow the yellow brick road as they say. Thanks google images (and the wizard of oz of course) for always having my back...

Some of those negative people in this world can really bring you down. Especially if they come in the form of people we care about. Being a pessimist and choosing to instead being an optimist is like being a recovering addict. Whatever your vice is, whether it be shopping, drugs, sex, food, video games - whatever- once you quit it there is always a temptation to hop right back on the wagon and slip back into old habits. Coming in contact with people who are doing what you yourself used to do is a particularly hard battle to fight. But it's possible to overcome. Like I said earlier though, even if you do "relapse" it's OKAY. Please be forgiving of yourself because blame and guilt aren't helping anyone, you're only hurting yourself more.

I believe in you, and I bet you almost anyone else you encounter in this world will believe in you and your abilities 100 times more than you believe in yourself right now. So just take the leap of faith and believe in yourself!

On that note I'll stop rambling and as always thank you for actually reading this... If anyone actually does that is- I'm extremely grateful and always humbled by the amazing people out there! Maybe this post will be your 'knock on the head' I surely hope it will speak to at least someone!

xoxo - Harmony

Paleo Ballerina and a Happy New Year!

That's right, I'm giving myself a title now I am the Paleo Ballerina (patent pending). I feel like I just declared the 10 commandments or something. Okay that's a huge exaggeration... Anyway, it's not that big of a deal obviously it's really not even important, but I just wanted to put that out there. No one take my thing please. I'm in the process of building my "brand". I have a reason behind this 'title' and it has more meaning than the portrayal of the fact that I'm a ballet dancer who eats and follows a Paleo lifestyle. Body image in the ballet community is SUCH a huge and never ending issue, and I want to inspire dancers to EAT and nourish themselves while keeping their dancer figure. Okay more on that later... Moving on. Are there any graphic designers in the house? Does anyone want to design a little cavewoman ballerina for me or something? Because that would be AMAZEBALLS. Happy New Year everyone! This is officially my first post of the new year! I brought in the new year in a great way and on new years day I performed an awesome musical medley for a celebration at church with my brother with around 8-9 songs. It included hits like Shake It Off, All About That Base, Halo, Baby and Radioactive. We did a medley least year on the first as well (using different songs obviously), and it's a lot of fun and really the only time I sing in public all year. It was a fun start and a great way to spend some quality time with my brother. Hopefully we'll do it again next year even though I'm always embarrassed by the video after the fact... I also hope (I sure have a lot of 'hopes') to do a 2014 recap post at some point but I make no promises since I always think of posts I want to write but I never actually want to take the time to write them out. Shame on me. Don't get me wrong, I love blogging. I don't do it very often but I find it to be a great creative outlet as well as a great way to organize and tame the Tasmanian (Taz) devil who likes to make an appearance in my head occasionally. It's a great way to just get it all out which is why I typically find myself blogging most often in times of struggle or distress. But hey, here I am being happy saying Happy New Year to you!

So 2015. 5 is my favorite number. It's actually Ernest's favorite number also. SO it goes without saying that this year should really be stellar for both of us and I hope it's great for everyone else too! We had wonderful holidays filled with a lot of family and friends. I really am blessed to be surrounded by so many great people in my life. Sure I take them for granted often but that doesn't mean I love them any less, this whole appreciation thing is a process but I try to look at the bright side and appreciate as many things as possible every single day!

Okay so I had about two weeks off from dance which I was a bit worried about but I think it was good. I was so super productive around the house with all my down time and I almost completed my bathroom remodel that I've been working on for about a year. Now it goes without saying that I haven't worked on it consistently since it's a small half bath and I don't think there are even that many things I could do to draw a reno out THAT long. Anyway it's my baby, my child, my creation and I'm so proud of it. This is yet another thing I plan to write a full blown post about once I have FULLY completed it. I don't want to post it before I'm 100% done because I may never fully finish if I do that. My pride is already making me not want to put the finishing touches on it... Partially because whenever I get to a new step with this reno I get apprehensive... Anyway more on that when I write my post bathroom renovation post!

Ballet has started back up this week and I had some of my toughest weeks ever at my desk job. I REALLY need to make a career shift this year. IDEALLY I'd like to get out of the normal desk job sector and move over to dance or something related (maybe even nutrition? NTP?) permanently. MAYBE THIS WILL BE THE YEAR FOR THAT. I don't know for sure, but life reveals itself as you go and we just gotta keep rolling with the punches. I'm planning to audition for a few small companies in the coming months and I might even audition for some summer programs that take old people (up to 25 while most only take up to 18) like me. That would be crazy... To leave my job for awhile and go somewhere to dance for the summer... I haven't done that since I was 16 or something. Again, I don't know-these are just options and things I'm thinking about. I'm always open to new things and I don't want to limit myself within reason. Plus I figure that if it's meant to be then it will happen. I of course have to take the steps to make it a possibility, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.

As for this new year and new resolutions.... I KIND OF made 1 resolution. But not really. I don't like limiting myself to resolutions. I think it's amazing to want to grow and to be inspired and to want better for yourself but I feel like there's almost too much pressure and disappointment if you "fail" OR if you resolve to do things or make changes that aren't really sustainable, OR to make changes to yourself that can't really be measured. Like "I want to be a better person". Okay that's great. How are you going to do that? And better yet, how the hell are you going to keep track of that? What are your actions steps to make that an attainable and measurable goal? Now as a rule in life we must all grow and evolve (unless you're Benjamin Button or Peter Pan I suppose) and along with that comes setting goals and trying our very best to better ourselves. I'm 100% for this, I just think it's important to make your goals ATTAINABLE and TANGIBLE. Otherwise, you become too comfortable with failure and letting yourself just not follow through with commitments you make. I've been reading a lot of things recently that say "you're worth it" and I couldn't agree more. You're worth the effort of sticking to the commitments you make to yourself. You're worth doing everything in your power to be the best you. Ya catch my drift? We are all worth it, no one life is more valuable than another. We are all living beings. Now onto my sorta resolution for 2015...

I've committed to give the good ol Paleo Autoimmune Protocol (AIP) a shot for 30 days. I started on Monday the 5th partially because on the first I was coming off a hard night of New Year's Eve drinking and didn't feel it was a great way to start this, but also because I wanted to start it at the beginning of the week, so I did! For those of you that don't know (probably most of you) AIP is specifically geared to eliminate all typical gut irritating foods that can cause an immune response. If you want more info on AIP and just autoimmune diseases in general then go to thepaleomom.com and/or autoimmune-paleo.com. Here is a quick list of restricted foods on AIP just to give you an idea:

Dairy, Soy, Legumes (including peanuts), Grains, Refined Sugars, Eggs, Nuts, Seeds, Nightshades(including seasonings), Industrial Seed Oils, Alcohol, NSAID's, Food Additives, etc.

There's of course a lot more to it but you should head on over to those sites I mentioned above if you want more info on it. I haven't actually been diagnosed with an autoimmune condition but with a few conditions I do have TYPICALLY being autoimmune in nature I am giving this a try. I'm treating it more like an elimination diet which it is also referred to as, and I'm hoping I might see and feel some results. There are of course reintroduction instructions but some food may never really be introduced without consequence for some people. I am also going to a Naturopath or Functional Medicine Doctor on Monday to get some testing done to try and get to the bottom of somethings I've been dealing with. If you want more specific info on what I've got going on medically you can PM me. I'm not comfortable airing out all my dirty laundry on the internet, at least not as of right now- maybe some day!

Anyway Today is day 5 (I wrote this a week ago so I'm actually on day 12 now) and I'm feeling great! It has been rough, especially the first few days coming off of eating a lot of treats and drinking more often than usual during celebrations over the holidays there has been some detoxing for sure. I know every day will be different, but today I'm feeling honeymoon-y and I'm loving it (ew McDonald's why did you have to ruin that phrase?). I have eaten a butt ton of fish and steak. Also a lot of salads. If I'm being completely honest I did not prep for this very well but coming off of normal Paleo makes it not the biggest adjustment ever, but for me a big adjustment nonetheless since I relied heavily on nut and seed butters plus I love a lot of nightshade veggies. Ernest bought me so much food to make this easier on me and more possible so we have quite a lot of groceries at the moment but no actual meal plan in place. It's working out just fine though and I'm grateful for his support. On the other hand, Practical Paleo by Diane Sanfilippo (best paleo book ever btw - Liz Wolfe calls it the Paleo Bible... Because it pretty much is) has an amazing 30 day meal plan - well okay there are like 20 different meal plans to accommodate ALL DIFFERENT ISSUES. How awesome is that? There is an AIP meal plan that I want to use for the coming weeks. I might end up extending this whole thing longer than 30 days (like 60 or 90) depending on what goes down on Monday and how I feel after the 30. So that meal plan might be used 100% during the next 30 days, we'll just have to wait and see. It should be an interesting journey. I've been looking at the 'whole 30' (another 30 day paleo program) website a lot since this is essentially the same thing and I've been following the daily "what should I expect" so I can have an idea of what might be to come. My experience hasn't really matched up thus far but it's interesting and entertaining nonetheless! I've been eating A LOT of fruits and veggies. As I hinted at above, my husband has been BEYOND supportive and helpful despite my detoxing bitchiness and I love him for it. He's cooked for me, packed lunches for me, and even grocery shopped for me. He's Seriously the best. Plus I don't think I'm the only one who get's grumpy while detoxing right? I believe it's a normal part of the adjustment period.... At least that's what I tell myself...

Horizons horizons, new horizons. OH! I got caught up on Downton Abbey which is super exciting- all thanks to my Amazon Prime membership!!! Woohoo now I just can't wait to watch 5th season. Okay I'll stop. But it's a great show to watch while also doing yoga or stretching or even cleaning in my case. I cleaned a lot over the holidays(which I know I already said) and since the holidays as well. I love it when my home is clean. I even took down ALL of our Christmas decorations on 1/3/15. I am on top of my game this year. Normally I'm terrible with that kinda stuff. But here's to new year's and turning over new leaves, and being okay with possibly turning that leaf right back over to where it originally started sometimes. Change doesn't happen over night after all. Although in someways it totally does.

On that note I bid you addue! Or However the hell you spell that... You know what I mean though, just think of the Sound of Music and have a great weekend! I'm starting it off by attempting to make the Urban Poser's Tomato-less "Marinara" Sauce (it was delicious) and chillin with my home girls. Tomorrow I have an audition and I'm going to Danielle Walker from Against All Grain's book signing event in Falls Church VA!! SO EXCITED! I feel like I'm meeting a Paleo celebrity... HAHA lame sauce I know.

xoxo -Harmony

ALSO I want to give credit where credit is due for the "featured image" on this post, it's actually a really awesome and touching story... Please read more about the story behind that picture HERE.

Cracking nuts and toes

Amidst my schedule that has been unbelievably busy recently I seem to have found myself with some free time. I've been heavily immersed in the world of ballet. I'm currently at a dress rehearsal for a show that I may or may not be dancing in. This is what we in the ballet call being an understudy. I already danced two performances last weekend but alas here I am again this weekend saying 'to dance or not to dance, that is the question.' It's amazing though the magic that happens in a theater and on a stage. When all the pieces come together the result is something that cannot be simply explained, it must be experienced.

Okay let me back up a little bit. Last time I posted was probably a good 2-3 weeks ago and I was just done with my first week of getting back into ballet classes. Well an amazing opportunity was presented to me after an injury occurred at a studio I took class at and here I am, having done two performances as their sugar plum fairy. I'm still only about 3 weeks into taking classes and the grand pas is HARD. Plus I'm in shock that this actually happened at all. I never imagined landing a role period let alone one line this... And so soon. That coupled with a few other complications and circumstances has my body begging for mercy. I had to learn the entire pas -a version I had never even seen before- in a week and be able to perform it. Talk about pressure... Then from crazy blisters, to dead point shoes, randomly swollen feet, uncomfortable nude leotards, stage makeup, brand new tights that ripped on stage and a slew of other factors this whole experience has been a whirlwind.

I've met a lot of great people, pushed myself in ways I did not foresee, and it's been great. It really has. There's been plenty of drama and discomfort that's gone along with all of it but I feel blessed. I had one performance that felt like a train wreak in which my my shoes died during the pas, and my tights literally caught on my partners costume on stage and ripped a big hole in my butt. But more importantly I felt incomplete, defeated, and disappointed in myself after the fact. I didn't feel elated, or even a little bit happy for having performed and survived. I knew I could do better which was frustrating but more importantly I also knew that I hadn't done well. But that second performance was magic.

Everything came together on stage. It still wasn't anywhere near perfect but with how out of shape I am, I was never expecting perfection. All things considered, this time I felt it. I felt the happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of accomplishment that I have been accustomed to feeling after performing. That feeling is what I'm doing all of this for. Life is a funny thing, it reveals its meaning to you when you least expect it.

Okay well I need to be ready to dance just in case so I should probably do that. Did I mention that this show is sold out?? Crazy right!? We'll see what happens, I'm fine whatever way this goes. My body would be relieved if I didn't have to dance, that's for sure... Well until next time...

Xoxo - Harmony

Midnight Ramblings

I tend to write posts and let them sit for a few days before I read them over again and actually post them. I wrote this one on Sunday evening... As will be obvious from the first sentence. I can hardly call this midnight, since it's literally only 10:30pm on this Sunday evening but nonetheless I will now begin to ramble. After watching some Gilmore Girls and falling asleep, then waking back up to turn it off and 'officially' go to bed almost an hour ago my mind is racing  It's amazing how you can just fall asleep during an activity but then when you actually try to go to bed it can be futile. In this case I find myself going over the ballet classes I've taken the past two Saturdays. Now to be fair I don't feel HORRIBLE about them. I mean I haven't consistently danced since the end of 2008 or early 2009. YEP 2009. That's almost 6 freaking years ago. So with that in mind I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. And I mean thank God I do bikram yoga, because otherwise I don't think this whole trying to get back into dance thing would even be possible.

Bikram has allowed me to regain flexibility, strength, mental discipline, and although I haven't fully regained all of it, and ballet is an entirely different beast of it's own, it's helped this process.

Yet I still find myself tossing and turning, going over the parts in class where I particularly felt inadequate. I don't know why, but I swear what I'm struggling the most with in these classes is my brain. As a ballet teacher I always tell my students that they need to know the combinations because otherwise you can't work on refining the steps or remembering corrections because you're too caught up just trying to keep up with the combination. Which is true. But I now find myself being that person who cannot remember the combinations. I have never been this person. In the past, whatever I physically lacked, I made up for with a good mind, I could pick up and remember combinations for days like it was nothing.

Needless to say I am frustrated as hell with myself on this. How can I get my brain to catch up to my body? And I'll be damned if in the next class I take a get stumped by another petite allegro (small jumping) combination. I mean seriously. Yes, I've never been strong in the petite allegro variety but SHEESH it's never been this rough. I see even just as I write all of this out that I'm weighing far too heavily on comparing this 24 year old out of practice version of me to the 18 year old 'best shape I've been in' dancer version of me who had been taking ballet class 4 hours a day 6 days a week for practically 6 years straight, if not longer.

But how can I not do that? I NEED to push myself. I can't settle for just being okay. If there's anything I took away from all of the "Academic Ballet Courses" I took at Kirov it's the line "Ballet does not stand mediocrity." I cannot remember who the hell said it but I seriously have never heard a truer statement, and I knew it as soon as I heard it. Mediocrity just has no place in ballet. No one wants to watch that. Especially no one wants to pay to see that, and sure as hell no one is going to pay you to dance poorly or even just 'okay'. You can barely get paid to dance amazingly... SO yeah.

Why I am taking myself back down this rabbit hole than you may ask? The only word that comes to mind is: PASSION.

I seriously just love it. I don't know why, I can't explain it, there will probably always be at least a small part of me that dreads ballet class and the uncertainty of how my body will perform that day, but I do love it. Being a professional ballet dancer in a ballet company (which by the way I'm sure means nothing to people in the 'normal' world) is a hard life. I have friends who are in it and beyond talented who struggle with their directors just not giving them the chances they deserve. It's a crazy world where people don't eat and they abuse their bodies day in and day out. But there's an insane part of me that just wants a small taste of it.

I don't know if my brain will start to cooperate. I don't know if my body will cooperate. But I couldn't sit in bed tossing and turning going over the parts in class I WISH I had done better in. It gives me anxiety, and to be honest, there is not one damn thing I can do about it right now from my bed.

I needed this outlet, so thank you for existing. Thoughts can haunt us, and drown us sometimes. Sometimes we just need some gratification and acknowledgement and writing can somehow provide that. I actually had a good bikram class just this morning, the teacher even asked me to demonstrate a posture (floor bow) to my surprise. I felt very humbled and honored - I've seen people be called out for demonstrations countless times, and I've always wished to be that person. I also never really imagined that I would be, I am the type of person who needs interaction and validation, as I believe we all do in different ways. I may be more secure with myself in some ways but in others I still lack the self assurance to know how I am doing beyond- "wow, that was really shitty."

I have to put the classes behind me and move forward. The next classes will be even better. Bikram and ballet alike. I actually have an idea of a plan for how to make this ballet thing work... It's still a rough draft but maybe I'll share it at some point if it turns out to be doable (I HOPE!).

There is so much more to life than all this little self centered petty stuff I wrote about above. I needed to get my thoughts out and I did, which I can appreciate  but there is so much more to my life than this here. Last weekend for instance, we celebrated my dear sister in law's birthday on Sunday by going to a winery. It was a nice time, my brother and I baked her a blueberry tart thingy from her pinterest, then on her actual birthday (Monday) we went to a great restaurant that caters to people with food allergies. They had a lot of dairy free and gluten free options on the menu which were great. I also made her this awesome paleo coconut cream pie from Living Healthy with Chocolate that I also made last year. Since it was so well received, I decided to give it a repeat appearance this year. Then yesterday after hanging out in Poolesville at the ballet studio for most of the day, I stopped by my brother and sister in law's house (the same one mentioned above - Johanna) and we ate pie, and talked. Later we made this AMAZING soup that popped up on my facebook newsfeed and went to a game night. I played a whole lot of the game Telestrations and literally laughed until my stomach hurt. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed THAT hard, and it was awesome. Lastly on this here Sunday I met Johanna for yoga, then we met some more friends at an adorable restaurant in Alexandria for a late brunch which was also great. I eventually made my way home to a lazy evening with my husband and you know this rest about this evening.

That's it. That's all I have for today and this weekend and everything else. I hope I've sufficiently emptied out my brain enough for sleep. I'm excited for lyrical class tomorrow evening, it should be a lot of fun. I'm hoping to hang out afterwards and put my pointe shoes back on. Oh yeah that's another thing. No longer having ballet callouses sucks... Pointe shoes really hurt again. And they haven't since I was maybe 11? It's like I ran backwards for miles or something. But it's OKAY. I'll get there, thank God (and the Secret) for the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction. I feel so much better right now, you have no idea.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

xo - Harmony

Strap on your pointe shoes - we're going to town

It's a very crisp autumn morning here in Northern VA. It's becoming that time of year when it's really just quite chilly outside. Ya just can't get away with wearing no jacket anymore and in other words.... Winter is Coming. That last sentence will have extra meaning for anyone who watches Game of Thrones. Speaking of watching things, Gilmore Girls is on Netflix! Now I must tell the truth, I already own all of the seasons of Gilmore Girls... I don't know what it is but I've always loved the show and I've seen most of the full seasons at least 2-3 if not 4 times already. But last week I found myself with a lack of TV to watch... That is of course besides the show's I watch with my husband that are sitting in my hulu queue waiting for the day we will sit down and watch them (we watched about 3 last night). With this is in mind, I began watching Gilmore Girls yet again from the very beginning.

I'm now on the first episode of season 2.. Yippee! I have a problem.... But I'm okay with it. Again, hubby does not understand my as he calls it "fascination" with the show. Meh, I dunno. I just like it...?!

Moving on...

Last weekend was halloween, and it was a blast! I of course had to work on the day of, but since it was casual Friday I was able to dress up with some of my coworkers. We were Toddlers in Tiaras(see pictures below). We then went to happy hour after work and called it a night. On Saturday I went to a bar crawl- again as a toddler in a tiara- with my friend Lizz and some of her close friends who are a really fun group of people. It was so much FUN! I used to get REALLY nervous in new social situations or hanging out with friends of friends who I don't really know but there was none of that this time. I think I've become a much calmer and secure person as of late and I love it. I don't care AS much what people think of me and it's liberating. Halloween was good times.

Here is were this update (non halloween related) gets interesting though... Last week on Monday I took my first lyrical dance class really ever.... I've taken very sporadic jazz classes in the past (mostly at ballet summer programs) and although it's very similar to lyrical I'm told they're different. But it was a lot of fun and I can't wait to go back weekly... Lizz posted a video of it on facebook. I swear she and I are like friendship soul mates. I really hope we can keep a good friendship now that we no longer work together. I guess you just never know how things will turn out. I surely didn't expect to make such great friends at my current job, but they really are great. Okay back to the video... The video is not my best dancing, but considering my "out of shape" state, I'm pretty pleased with it. That and oh yeah, i'm a ballet dancer, not a jazz or lyrical dancer. But it was fun!

THEN on Saturday I took adult ballet class locally at Virginia Ballet and ran into my high school math teacher... Small world right!? Okay I took class, it was fun but sheesh I'm out of shape. Even so, the other adults in the class made it quite clear that they were following my lead as is quite customary in these adult type classes. They usually consist of either first time dancers or older women (40's-60's) who just wanna dance! Side Note: I'm not saying that women in their 40's-60's are old, but as far as ballet dancers goes it's an older age group. It's awesome for them, it's not really what I need right now but I still enjoy it as long as I don't upset anyone in the process. It's a great studio and I hope they hire me to sub some classes for them. I did talk to them about it so fingers crossed!

Then this week I had probably the best bikram class that I've had in awhile AND I subbed ballet, tech, jazz, lyrical, crazy hybrid classes at a studio Lizz hooked me up with locally: CDC. ALSO a lot of fun. I love the lack of pressure and relaxed setting, makes the whole teaching process a lot more enjoyable. But at the same time frustrating. Anyway, today is Saturday. I woke up at 7:30 all on my own, and I'm about to drive an hour out for a ballet class. I am a little worried since this is a regular advanced ballet class and not an adults intermediate class. My body isn't REALLY ready for this but I just have to push it. Especially my petite allegro, for some reason my brain has been having trouble understanding it again. I swear it's more of a mental than a physical issue. But I will get there!

Right now the plan is to take lyrical on Mondays, do bikram the rest of the week, and do ballet on Saturdays, schedule permitting. I wish that said I was going to take ballet class every day but I just don't know how to make it work. It is SO expensive and lets be real, the classes are usually too relax for my purposes when you get to an adult level. I can take classes in Poolesville (although it's far out) at least weekly but I wish that was daily... I could try one day to leave work at 2:30 to get there but I worry it'll be pushing my luck in more ways than one. Technically I work a 9-5 although my schedule generally runs more of an 7:30-3:30 kinda thing. I'd literally have to get into work at 6:30am in order to leave at 2:30 and possibly make the 3:30 class in MD. That plus I'd have to deal with glares from everyone in the office, and their moms. But I'm going to see what I can do. I really need class 6 days a week to get back myself. I don't mind making the time commitment.

Right now I'm a bit torn. It feels great to be back in the dance saddle. I still feel nervous and never know what to expect from my body today but I'm trying. The schedule is far from perfect but it's better than nothing! Maybe when the new year rolls around I'll try to make some more changes.... Change, change, change.

Life is fluid, people move, grow, evolve, CHANGE. And that's a good thing right? If we were stagnant and unchanging I might be a bit worried. But change can be hard to accept also. Like when friends move away, or friends you've made at a job change career paths, or you make drastic changes to your life like adopting a healthy lifestyle, or having a baby... Change happens, it's inevitable, and it's good. I say bring it on bitches! I sure hope this ballet class goes well today. The studio I'm going to today knew me back in my ballet prime. I'm so grateful to be able to take classes there, but I'm also nervous. Now i'm about 6 years older, and 6 more years out of practice and shape... It's going to be embarrassing, I know that much. But I hope it's okay and I don't die! Just my last thoughts for the morning. Now I need to leave to make sure I get there on time to actually take class!

Much love as always!

Harmony

Live, Laugh, Love.

Okay I wrote this post now LAST Thursday.... Didn't realize that I hadn't actually posted it... Sheesh! I have a few different thoughts swirling through my brain today, so I figured with this rare slowish day here at work it was high time to write another blog post.. I would've written one (you like how I'm pretending to actually have readers that I have to hold myself accountable to? AH the humor) last weekend but with the beautiful wedding I was a part of I just did not have the time! Yet here we are, it's a Thursday already and the weekend is practically here all over again. Hard to believe that just a week ago we were heading to Stafford for the wedding rehearsal and I was able to see my lovely friend who lives in Cali again. The wedding last weekend was beautiful and magical and I had a wonderful time. The whole bridal party was a really great group of people so it made for good company and happy times. There were of course also many tears (of joy), and just some moments too adorable to explain. Much fun was had by all! Of course I was DD so some may have had a little extra fun... But below are just some of the many pics from the photobooth! It was hard to choose just a few, so many of them are amazing!

Okay that's enough shenanigans, I think you get the idea. It really was a beautiful wedding. With all of the beautiful people in these pictures and seeing so much love coming together in one place I've been thinking a lot about this life that we live, the people in it and just how damn lucky I am.

It's funny because I had the intention of writing a post about how grateful I am for all of my friends and family and the amazing people in my life and lo and behold it seems to be a trend going around. An attitude of gratitude is how I try to life my life. Just like everyone else I of course become pissy and ungrateful. I take for granted the amazingness that is my life and complain about things. But this does no one any good. I am the owner of my fate. This is MY life after all and if I'm not responsible for it's success then who the hell is? I mean sure okay I have a belief in a higher power and I do believe that everything happens for a reason and all that. But me, my essence, my being, how I react to what happens in my life- that's all on ME. And it's true for you too my readers. Take your life and your fate into your own hands and just do your very best with it.

If you want to be fit, than exercise. Hey you may never be a marathon runner, or a buff ass figure model, but work with what you have and try your best. If you want to be a yoga competitor or a ballet dancer (sound familiar?) than freaking take classes! You might fail, hell you may fall flat on your ass, but you'll never know if you don't TRY.

I'm sorry for going off on a ranty tangent yet again but I really want to get this point across: you have the power to shape your life. Your life belongs to no one else but YOU. SO TAKE CONTROL OF IT DAMN IT!

Alright I'm putting the soapbox away... I love my friends and my family. Sure, things aren't always perfect and i'm not going to feel blessed everyday but with an attitude of gratitude, I can be a happier me. No matter the circumstance. I leave you with this quote from The Secret by Rhonda Byrne:

"Begin your day by feeling grateful. Be grateful for the bed you just slept in, the roof over your head, the carpet or floor under your feet, the running water, the soap, your shower, your toothbrush, your clothes, your shoes, the refrigerator that keeps your food cold, the car that you drive, your job, your friends. Be grateful for the stores that make it so easy to buy the things you need, the restaurants, the utilities, services, and electrical appliances that make your life effortless. Be grateful for the magazines and the books that you read. Be grateful for the chair that you sit on, and the pavement that you walk on. Be grateful for the weather, the sun, the sky, the birds, the trees, the grass, the rain, and the flowers.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Love and kisses,

Harmony

Autumn Nights

"I heard the wind rustling the leaves on the trees outside, making their newly crunchy brown existence fall to the ground. I felt the cool autumn breeze come through the window lightly brushing my curtains forward into the room revealing the crimson autumn sunset outside. For a moment my warm indoor sanctuary became one with the cool autumn evening outside. I intuitively cuddled closer to him, his body both comforting and warming. I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent: fresh apple cider along with a light smell of nature mixed with his natural scent. It's in these moments that I appreciate having all of my senses. In this very moment I am enjoying smell, hearing, vision and physical feeling. All I was missing right now was a sense of taste. I quickly kissed him than took a sip of my warm apple cider. I felt entirely content in this space of time. This moment right here, right now. I may not feel content forever, but right now I'm choosing to fully experience this moment with every one of my senses. This is the essence of bliss." I hope you enjoyed that very tiny short scene above I wrote for you. I am so excited about this recipe that I wanted to post it to my blog right away! But I first wanted to paint a picture for you with my words. It's amazing how using a small amount of creativity can morph into mountains of creativity that you forgot even existed within you. Anyway, onto the important stuff - Spiked (or not spiked) Homemade Apple Cider! I was inspired to make apple cider at home and then spike it with the delightfully cinnamon-y whiskey: Fireball. I surely hope you enjoy this! Also if you want to mix it up you could make the apple cider along with pumpkin puree and have a delicious pumpkin version of the same drink! Recipe is below! I apologize for my terrible photography skills...

-Homemade Spiked Apple Cider-

Ingredients:

5 Cups Fresh Apple Juice

1/4 tsp Ground Nutmeg

1/4 tsp Ground Cloves

1/2 tsp Ground Cinnamon (or more to taste)

3 Allspice Berries

9 tbs Fireball Whiskey (optional)

Add all ingredients into a pot and heat till boiling, stirring occasionally. Once juice is simmering set timer for 10 minutes and continue to stir on occasion keeping a close eye on it. If you are omitting the fireball whiskey I recommend adding at least twice as much cinnamon while this simmers.

Once the 10 minutes are up, strain the cider through a cheese cloth. In each mug add 3 tbs of fireball whiskey (add less or more if you'd like - 2 tbs is equal to one shot - we found this to be a good taste ratio). If you want to serve cold then serve over ice. We enjoy this warm on a cool autumn evening.

Again I'm no professional recipe developer, but I was inspired and this turned out great! Have a cup of this cider with some Cinnamon Chocolate Swirl Banana Bread from The Paleo Kitchen. (Both the recipe and the book are linked BTW) Enjoy!